


Destiny

by usei



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Ending, Childhood Memories, Explicit Sexual Content, Growing Up Together, M/M, Sibling Incest, The other members slightly mentioned, depressed ending, slightly showhyuk and kiho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:28:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 22,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29180271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usei/pseuds/usei
Summary: Is it wrong to live your life as you wish? Is it wrong to have the desire to love someone? Even though this someone is your blood-related sibling.Warning : Showki, ABO dynamics, and incest. There are 2 chapters. This is work of fiction, please read it wisely.
Relationships: Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 20
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. Actually this is a requested fiction. So, well, I can’t help but write it. Because I lose.
> 
> WARNING : This story involves heavy incest relationship and explicit content. So if you aren't comfortable with those kinds of themes, please click the “back” button asap now. I’VE WARNED YOU.
> 
> If there are similarities between places and events, they are purely a coincidence. Everything that happens in this fiction is the author's imagination so please read it wisely. Read with your own risk. Do you understand ? Thank you.

_Is it wrong to live your life as you wish? Is it wrong to have the desire to love someone?_

Hyunwoo never wished to be born like this. Hyunwoo also couldn’t choose who will be his loved ones. Destiny determines the course of his life. But is Hyunwoo wrong if he wants his loved ones to always stay by his side forever? Is it fate not allowing him to love someone?

He didn't know what was right and what was wrong anymore. It was the world that was too cruel to him.

There was a time when the second gender became the boundary of the world. When Hyunwoo was born into the world, the mother said how happy she was when the laboratory results stated that Hyunwoo was an alpha child candidate. It wasn't like his mother didn't want his son to be of another gender, but his mother is an omega and she knows how the world became cruel to her.

His mother is one of the luckiest people who find a mate as gentle as his father. He is so firm but caring. He is also tough but wise at the same time. Hyunwoo loves both of them more than the world.

Hyunwoo's childhood life was the best he had ever experienced. If he compared himself with his friends, then Hyunwoo would express his gratitude to his parents over and over again. Their family life is good and there is no shortage. The father is a doctor and his mother was a victim of sexual violence who was treated in the hospital which now belongs to the father. Both of his parents always fulfilled Hyunwoo's needs but that fact didn’t turn Hyunwoo into a spoiled child. They educated him to be a responsible man, an independent man, and also a protector. One of the reasons is because Hyunwoo is an alpha who is destined to become a protector of those around him.

Little Hyunwoo is a kind child. He did not hesitate to share his food supplies with his classmates. He also likes to play with anyone regardless of their gender status or even their financial situation. All the children and the teachers liked him.

His father always said the same thing to him, “You must be a man who protects anyone around you, your friends, your family, your teacher and especially Omega who will be your partner in the future.”

Little Hyunwoo didn't really understand the meaning of his father's words but he nodded enthusiastically and said “Of course, dad. They are my friends. I will protect them!” Little Hyunwoo also did not understand why the figure of an omega was always the main topic of his father's conversation with him when his mother was sick and locked herself in the room for days without the slightest stepping out, not even for eating. And it became worse when his father didn’t present because of his emergency jobs. 

And then one day, Hyunwoo was so happy even though he didn’t really understand why he was happy as his father said to him, “Hyunwoo, for now on, you’ll have a younger brother. He’ll come to us soon.”

“Really? I’ll have a—?” Little Hyunwoo exclaimed but slightly had difficulty due to vocabulary limitation. His eyes were sparkling with joy back then. As Hyunwoo remembered, one of his classmates told a story about the arrival of a baby boy in their family, and the baby is so sweet and adorable. Little Hyunwoo was envious when he heard that story. He wanted to have a baby brother or sister too so they could play together.

“Yes, my son. Are you happy?” His father crouched down to his eye level and gave him a soft stroke on his head. His father slowly took his hand to bring him inside the hospital patient room and there his mother sat on the bed wearing patient pajamas. “Mom!” Hyunwoo shouted as he ran to his mother. He wanted to hug her but he was too small back then so he couldn’t get high enough to hug his mother until his father carried him up to bed.

“Hyunwoo.”

His mother had been hospitalized for about one month because of her pregnancy complications. Little Hyunwoo missed her so much and his father was busy so he rarely took him to the hospital and also due to that reason Hyunwoo was mostly entrusted to daycare. But his father always made sure to give him attention and need even though he was so busy and his mother was absent. 

“Mom! Mom! Listen, Dad said I’ll have it!”

His mother chuckled as she kissed his plumpy cheeks. “Have what?”

“Broth her!”

His father laughed so hard as his mother tried to hold her laughter. Hyunwoo’s pronunciation and vocabularies were getting better each day tho. “Brother, my sweety.”

“Yes!” Hyunwoo was so chubby back then because he loves to eat especially chocolate, candy and drink so much milk. His cheeks were bouncing as he jumped on the bed but his father forbade him to do that because his mother's condition was still not good. “When will he come? Where is he? I want to meet him now!”

His mother was slightly pale and Hyunwoo paid attention to it and wondered. “You can’t meet him now. Because he is sleeping now in here.” His mother showed her enlarged stomach due to the pregnancy had reached almost 5 months.

“Inside Mom’s belly?”

“Yes,” His mother nodded weakly and smiled, “The baby is sleeping inside my belly.”

Little Hyunwoo was so curious. He stared at her mother’s belly as she rubbed it gently. “How come? The baby is coming from Mom?”

The father patted his tiny head and little Hyunwoo turned his attention to his smiling father, “Hyunwoo. The babies are coming from Omega. Your Mom is an omega. The babies are cute and adorable. So you need to cherish them. Do you want to see how cute they are?”

His eyes were rounded with excitement. “Yes, Dad. I’ll cherish them! And play with them!”

“Do you want to hear the baby’s sound?” His mother gave a signal to his son to get closer. Hyunwoo was so overwhelmed with many kinds of feelings as his tiny fingers touched his mother's belly. It felt so funny but he didn't know why he was so happy, especially when he put his ear to the belly. Let's say it was only his imagination but he clearly heard something inside the belly. Those sounds made him so excited to meet the baby soon.

But Hyunwoo didn’t realize at first how hard his mother’s pregnancy was back then. She was often back hospitalized as her complications got worse in each trimester. She was experiencing such extreme nausea and vomiting that she couldn’t eat her food and was severely dehydrated. Sometimes she was also recommended to bedrest for weeks so she couldn't take care of Hyunwoo's needs. Little Hyunwoo was so sad as he witnessed his mother vomit all her guts. There was blood too seeping out along her legs. He was waiting and praying for his mother and his little brother to come back healthy.

His father realized that his son was worried about the mother. After picking him up at daycare, the father invited his son to talk about his mother's condition. “Hyunwoo, your mother will be fine. So don't be sad.”

“Dad, please fix Mom. She's in pain. Is my brother okay? Did he accompany Mom while Mom in the hospital?” He asked as he squeezed his bear plushie around his small arms.

“Of course, Hyunwoo.” His dad patted his head slowly. He was trying to look at his son’s eyes which have been teary since their return from daycare. “Mother went through all of that so your little brother will stay healthy and meet you soon. Do you want to meet him?” His father asked with a gentle and patient tone. He knew that Hyunwoo was so sensitive back then.

Hyunwoo nodded weakly.

“Listen to me, Hyunwoo. You have to take care of your little brother. Invite him to play and protect him no matter what. Just like your Mom is doing now. She is in pain to protect your little brother.”

Little Hyunwoo didn’t understand the relationship between his father’s words and his mother's condition well. It was too complicated for children his age. But he was sure about something. At that time, little Hyunwoo realized that his mother was working so hard for his little brother. And he promised himself that he would protect his little brother as a substitute for his father and his mother. He won't let his mother go through the same pain.

It was winter when Hyunwoo heard a baby crying so hard behind the glass window in the hospital. Hyunwoo looked at the tiny things writhed in his little bed and his face was so red. The baby’s crying was so loud and made so much noise around them but Hyunwoo was enchanted. The baby, his little brother, was so tiny, sweet, and adorable. He was the cutest thing Hyunwoo has ever seen. His cheeks were so puffy and similar to a pork bun. He didn’t have much hair and also teeth yet—Hyunwoo could see it as the baby crying and carried out to somewhere.

“Dad! My little brother is crying. We need to bring him outside to build a snowman.”

“No, Hyunwoo. He’s too small now for a snowman. He will catch a cold.” His father was smiling while holding Hyunwoo’s hand as long as their way to his mother’s room. 

Hyunwoo was so excited to meet his little brother closer for the first time. As expected, the baby was more adorable in a closer look. The baby couldn’t open his eyes yet; it was only a small blinking. His tiny fingers were scratching in the air and Hyunwoo tried to touch them— _oh my god it was so soft and tiny and cute and wonderful and Hyunwoo lost his battle with vocabularies._ Hyunwoo smiled so wide as those fingers grabbed his index finger and squeezed it gently. He couldn’t explain the burst out feeling inside his small body when he saw his little brother yawn and reveal his short tongue and toothless mouth. _It was so mesmerizing!_

“He’s so cute, Mom, Dad. Thank you. What is his name?” He turned to face his father.

“Kihyun.”

Hyunwoo looked back to his little brother and giggled.

_“Kihyun. Kihyun. Kihyun. Kiki.”_

It was the moment when Hyunwoo swore to God that he will protect his brother no matter what. Because he was such a miracle to little Hyunwoo.

Since then, Hyunwoo has never felt lonely again. His mother was always at home and took care of Hyunwoo's needs and even accompanied Hyunwoo to study at pre-kindergarten. The father of course is always busy with his work but he always takes time out on weekends to spend family time with their new member. The thing that made little Hyunwoo even happier was the presence of his little brother in the room next to his bedroom. Although sometimes Hyunwoo woke up in the middle of the night because of the sound of his crying that broke the silence. At that time, Hyunwoo would get up from the bed slowly so as not to fall and his little hands grabbed the doorknob to the little brother's room.

“Kiki, don't cry. I'm here.” He was struggling up to the baby cribs. It was too high for him. Unable to reach it, Hyunwoo finally peeked at his crying brother through the wooden baby cribs. His little hands were trying to reach out to the smaller hands and caress them. His face was squeezed between the wood. It was the most thrilling moment for Hyunwoo because the moment his little brother's hand grasped his finger, his crying stopped. Hyunwoo was beyond happy. His little brother knew he was there for him.

“Hyunwoo?” His mother came and rushed to the baby cribs.

“Kiki is crying, Mom. He needs candy.” As Hyunwoo’s hand escaped from his little brother’s grasp, baby Kihyun was crying again. His crying sounded like he was afraid of the night and he needed his older brother to stay with him. Hyunwoo was gloomy as the baby cried harder. “Kiki, I’m here. I’ll give my nunu bear so don’t cry.” Sometimes Hyunwoo forgot to bring toys for his younger brother. So he will give his beloved teddy bear to him.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Mom will do something. You can go back to sleep.” His mother took the baby from the baby cribs and carried him. Her body swayed here and there and she hummed to soothe the baby.

“But Mom, Kiki wants me to stay.” He tugged her mother's pajama pants in a cute way to get her attention.

“You have to go to school tomorrow so you have to go back to sleep, son. Kiki is going to sleep with Mom tonight.” The sound of the baby's crying grew louder. It seems that he woke up from a nightmare. The mother moved her body like a swing and patted his baby's bum gently.

Hyunwoo looked down sadly. He also wants to accompany his younger brother. The mother smiled.

“Sweetheart,” The mother walked over to the sofa for one person near the baby cribs and sat slowly looking for a comfortable position for her and her baby. “Do you want to say goodnight to Kiki?”

Little Hyunwoo nodded excitedly. He ran to the sofa and tried to crawl up on his own without the help of his mother because the mother was carrying his brother.

His little brother's tears flooded on his tiny cheeks. Hyunwoo wiped the trail of his tears a little bit harshly because he didn't know how to control his touch and then he gave a kiss on the soft cheek bun. His brother has a funny smell like a mixture of milk and baby powder. Hyunwoo giggled as he smelled it. After that, the mother also kissed his plump cheek and said goodnight. The baby Kihyun was writhing in the arms and his tiny hands clenched into fists cutely.

“Goodnight, Kiki. I love you.”

The baby Kihyun was a brand new world for little Hyunwoo. He was so attached to the baby. He loved everything his little brother did even when he was peeing on Hyunwoo’s hand as he tried to calm him down by petting his cute bum. It was so disgusting at first and Hyunwoo would scream to his mother, “Mom, Kiki is naughty. He peed on me.” But it turned to a wide smile as his little brother was giggling as he watched his older brother protesting to their Mom.

Hyunwoo was so happy to have a cute little brother like Kihyun. He would stick to him everywhere and watching everything he did such as crying, drooling, and sneezing. Baby Kihyun was a cheerful baby. He played with Hyunwoo’s nunu bear, swinging it in the air, giggling happily, and then threw the bear stuffed somewhere on the floor. Sometimes he vomited the baby porridge and the milk he had just consumed to Hyunwoo’s hands.

Hyunwoo loves his little brother’s giggling sound. It echoed into the room and made the room filled with happiness as his parents were there to play with them. They would take some family photos and display them around the table using a small frame. In the photo, baby Kihyun was sitting on Hyunwoo's lap and the two brothers laughed together.

Kihyun was growing each day and Hyunwoo witnessed his growth. It was such a wonderful moment how he spoke his first word. His parents were expecting the baby would say “Dad or Mom” in his first word, the same as baby Hyunwoo—he said the combination word of Dad and Mom as he giggled: _Dam._ But surprisingly, baby Kihyun was saying something different and it was “Uu!”. At first, they were quite confused due to the loss of understanding the baby’s language but finally in the end the mystery was solved: Baby Kihyun always said “Uu!” when he needed Hyunwoo’s attention. The word “Uu” was the short version of “Hyunwoo”. 

The first time he was able to walk was also an unforgettable moment. His footsteps were so weak so Hyunwoo needed to guard him everywhere and sometimes he hit his head on the floor or table. Baby Kihyun would be sobbing harder if Hyunwoo didn’t hug him and caress his fall spot as he said “The table is so bad, I’ll punch it for Kiki.” After that, Kihyun would laugh loudly when he saw his brother fighting with the table in the living room.

Kihyun was growing taller day by day, he could fit Hyunwoo’s pre-kindergarten uniform. His puffed cheeks became more fluffy as he chewed his jelly beans. His hands were growing bigger and bigger, and Hyunwoo could hold his hand as they were walking together to the school. However, his footsteps were still short and wobbly. Hyunwoo was in elementary school back then. He always took and picked him up to pre-kindergarten as a substitute for his mother. Since then, the two brothers had never been separated.

“Woo hyung. Kiki tired.” Little Kihyun whined—his whining voice was so damn cute—as he stopped walking when the sun was so burning to the skin in the early summer. His butts felt so hot as he sat on the asphalt, he was about to cry. His vanilla ice cream was melting and falling on the ground. His face was so red due to overheating. His hands were bigger than before but still, it was so cute as his fists formed and brushed over his watery eyelids.

“Hang on, Ki. Hyung will carry you.” Hyunwoo crouched down and his back facing little Kihyun. Kihyun stopped crying when he saw Hyunwoo's back and he slowly crawled up his older brother's back. His cute fluffy arms wrapped around Hyunwoo's neck. His palms and arms were so sweaty due to the sun's heat and Hyunwoo tried his best to bring him home as soon as possible because that day was the last school day before summer's holiday. Even though his footsteps were so shaky when he was carrying the weight of his younger brother's body, Hyunwoo still tried to carry him all the way without a single break.

The summer holiday was his favorite holiday time. His father would take a leave for a week to spend their holiday together. They would be swimming together, playing with fireworks, and then preparing for a barbeque at night. Before they could play on the backyard field, Hyunwoo needed to finish his summer homework and then he helped Kihyun to write some letters or draw something using his colorful crayon. At the same time, his father was preparing a plastic pool that will be filled with water in the backyard, while the mother was busy cutting some fruits including Kihyun's favorite watermelon.

“It's a pool!” Little Kihyun ran to the plastic pool and brought himself to the pool without taking off his clothes. His little fingers tried to catch the water and he giggled as he felt the cold sensation.

“Be careful, son. Take off your clothes. It’s starting to wet.” His father helped him to take off his hamster shirt and sweatpants as Kihyun couldn’t wait to throw himself into the refreshing water. 

Hyunwoo walked over to the pool while taking off his clothes impatiently. He needed to taste the cold water on his skin before it turned hot because of the sun's raging days. 

The water from the hose was flowing fast. They play together. Laughing together. Splashing water at each other, running, and jumping here and there. That day was a fun day, the day Kihyun could finally swim in the shallow pool without Hyunwoo's help. Finally, Hyunwoo noticed that his little brother was growing up the same as him.

“Kihyun will begin his elementary school soon. We must immediately prepare his medical documents.” The father said as he bit a piece of watermelon. At that time, Kihyun was about to fall when he tried to get out of the pool and Hyunwoo caught him before he fell.

“Is he going to be alright? I'm starting to worry, darling.” The mother placed his head on his husband's shoulder as she sighed worriedly.

“It’s gonna be okay. He has a reliable older brother. Hyunwoo will definitely protect him until he finds his mate.” The father stated as he kissed his wife's temple.

“Yes, he will. And we need to educate him about Kihyun's gender starting now before he reaches puberty stages.”

“Yes, we need to prepare everything from now on.”

A few months after he turned into a Middle School Student, Hyunwoo was starting to notice something was changing within his body. He could see something moving inside his neck as he swallows and when he asked his father, he got an interesting answer: “We called it Adam’s apple. It will appear as one of the signs of puberty.” Sometimes he was so curious and tried to pay attention to some of his body’s parts. Hyunwoo noticed how his shoulder became broader. His body grew taller in no time. His voice cracked and slowly turned deeper than before. His chubby face gradually evolved to become thinner. There were so many soft hairs growing in his body such as on his face, in his armpits, or even in his genitals. 

Hyunwoo had reached that phase.

Puberty was an interesting mysterious thing for teenage Hyunwoo. He couldn't wait to reach the phase because of his curiosity over his father's words : “Puberty is a significant process of sexual maturity. It shows you are slowly entering adulthood. And when that time comes, your responsibilities as an alpha will begin.” He couldn’t wait to be a real adult so he could protect everyone around him—his parents and his adorable brother Kiki. The puberty phase was also the most time he waited in his life back then because his father finally told him about his younger brother's sexuality.

“Hyunwoo, do you remember what I said before?” His father once called him to his office room. Hyunwoo and his dad sat next to each other on the sofa. His father patted his shoulder lightly as he continued, “About alpha, omega, and beta.”

“Yes, Dad. I’m an alpha.” His father was quite surprised as he saw how his son became more confident over himself and how he spoke was more than enough to prove that he is the growing alpha. “Kihyun is an omega and there is no Beta in our family.”

“Could you differentiate them now?” Hyunwoo shook his head. Even though he had entered the puberty phase, his ability to smell pheromones had not yet fully emerged. He couldn’t tell them physically other than when they told themselves about their gender. But in a sense, his nose started to feel more sensitive than usual. He could smell the scent of pine lingering around his father and the scent of spices of cloves clinging to his mother.

“Listen to me carefully, my Son. This is important for you. Do you know your role as an alpha in society?”

“To be the leader and protect the others.”

“Good,” His dad stroked his hair gently, “Do you know my story with your Mom?”

He shook his head once again.

There was a time when his mother nearly had another alpha as her mate. But suddenly everything was turning around and became the enemy to his mother. Her ex-lover was a jerk. He sold her heat period in exchange for abundant money. Besides that, he also tortured his mother sexually. All the bad things that happen also remind his mother of her childhood who was bullied because she is the only omega in class. She got so much pain until finally, she met his father. They love each other like their gender is supposed to be.

“There are so many bad people out there, Hyunwoo. Don’t be like them. Maybe your mother is the luckiest among the omegas because she met me and then has a reliable son like you.” His father patted his son’s thigh. “We will age as time goes by. The only one who can protect Kihyun is you until he finds his mate. It’s the same way for you, you have to be a good alpha to your mate in the future. Protect them, cherish them and love them. Be a human, Hyunwoo.”

_Mate_ —A term that still sounded so foreign to Hyunwoo's ears at that time. Maybe it's because he was a teenager and hasn't thought of getting there yet. But after listening to his father's words, Hyunwoo understood that the existence of a good mate for his younger brother was what the father wanted the most and Hyunwoo would do anything to achieve this for the sake of his younger brother's happiness.

Hyunwoo was so happy as he grew taller and bigger. Because he could carry Kihyun easily at that time. Kihyun was so small compared to his teenage state and it made his younger brother look cuter than ever. The sensation was the same as the time when he was a pre-kindergarten boy and Kihyun was a baby. 

Because they went to an educational foundation school, the elementary and junior high school buildings are only a few blocks apart. It really made the siblings happy because they were able to spend more time together than before. Every day, Hyunwoo took Kihyun to his class first and then he would rush to his own classroom in the building next door. Sometimes during recess between class hours, Hyunwoo would come to Kihyun's class and invite him to buy snacks in the canteen.

Hyunwoo's teenage life was filled with new friends but it didn’t make him forget the existence of his little brother. Plus, Kihyun really depended on Hyunwoo in everything and clung to him all the time. Sometimes Kihyun also waited for Hyunwoo to finish his swimming extracurricular activities. They were never separated and Hyunwoo never thought of being separated from his younger brother no matter what.

One day, Kihyun came to the junior high swimming pool as he was sobbing so hard and looking for Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo was overwhelmed when he saw his brother's cry getting louder and he hugged Hyunwoo's legs tightly. In recent days, Kihyun was so whiny compared to usual that his older brother had to keep an eye on him all the time. Until finally that day, Hyunwoo found out why. Kihyun was bullied by his classmates since the physical examination and education classes were held. This happens because some children in his class said that Omega is a weak and weepy human. It turns out that this does not only happen in his junior school days, but elementary school students are already doing the same thing.

“Woo Hyung.” His arm held Hyunwoo's neck as his older brother carried him on his back. They went home together and Hyunwoo carried him all the way on his back so that his little brother could be cheerful again.

“Yes, Ki?”

“I don't want to be an omega. Mostly my classmates are alpha and beta. I want to be like Woo hyung.” He said innocently. His sobbing voice could be heard vaguely.

“It can't, Kiki. Don't say something like that. Do you know how beautiful our mother is?”

“Yes, she is pretty!” Kihyun bounced his body and Hyunwoo almost lost balance. He laughed.

“Of course. The reason why our mother is so pretty is that she is an omega. Omega is a beautiful human. They love the other wholeheartedly and they’re bearing cute babies like you.”

“Really?” Kihyun exclaimed happily. “Ah, that’s why Jooheon said that Changkyun is so pretty! Because he is an omega!”

“Jooheon? Changkyun?”

“Um! They’re my juniors and my best friends!”

“Really? Does my Kiki have best friends now? Woo hyung is happy then.” Hyunwoo exclaimed as he patted his brother’s thighs.

Time flies so fast. Even though puberty was an interesting thing, It was also a terrifying phase as Hyunwoo woke up in the morning and he felt his pants were so wet and damp. The wetness also spread around his blanket and bedsheets. There were sticky liquid things coming out from his penis and Hyunwoo screamed hysterically as he saw it. His mother rushed to his bedroom and asked what happened to him. There was a strong sweet sandalwood scent lingering around the room and it became more intense as Hyunwoo panicked. He produced so much sweat that time.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It's a common thing for a teenager like you.” 

His mother's words calmed him down a little, but the incident was still in his mind. It felt so weird and ridiculous especially when those white liquid came out of his body without being asked. At night, his father came to him and explained the phenomenon he was experiencing: it turned out that he experienced wet dreams. It was then that Hyunwoo felt his inner alpha roar in the body as if it was going to spill out. His sniffing ability reached the maximum level to the point that he could detect the arrival of his parents before they arrived at the door of Hyunwoo's room. However, that ability had no effect on Kihyun because his little brother was a kid.

Since that moment, Hyunwoo's body underwent more drastic changes. His body muscles began to form, especially because Hyunwoo participated in several types of sports extracurricular activities at his school. His facial turned from cute to handsome. His height exceeded the height of almost all teenagers his age. His appetite increased dramatically. And the shocking thing was his genitals grew bigger and longer than before.

It was the first shocking moment but then there was another thing. Hyunwoo was terrified to death as he witnessed something strange happen to his omega classmate. She was a wonderful female omega. She was so clever and graceful. One day, Hyunwoo saw some of his classmates bring her to a sports storage room and he witnessed her being molested by his classmates. Of course, as he promised to his parents, Hyunwoo stood up before them and helped her because he is an alpha. Alpha should be a protector, especially for the omega. Hyunwoo had so much a strong presence and a bigger build than them. His pheromone production was out of control as he was angry. 

After that, he accompanied her until their teachers came. While waiting, the girl suddenly fell to the floor. He clutched his stomach tightly. She said “It so hurts” when Hyunwoo asked what happened to her. She looked at Hyunwoo with a begging face asking for help. He didn't understand what had happened. A strong and sweet scent burst into Hyunwoo's nose. Hyunwoo's still-developing body felt a strange reaction. It messes up his mind. He gulped nervously. Hyunwoo almost forgot where he was and what he did there. There was such a strong urge to touch the girl. Yes, the girl looked so... _whatever_ —Hyunwoo couldn’t explain it well. Then, the teachers came in panic. They carried the girl right away from there. One of the teachers approached Hyunwoo and allowed him to come home early.

It was the first time Hyunwoo understood the term “heat”. The girl was so in pain and Hyunwoo didn't know what he was thinking at that time. She didn't come to school for a week and sometimes she looked so pale and weak. But back to the reality that his younger brother will experience the same thing, Hyunwoo was terrified.

Teenage life is so complicated. Hyunwoo found many new things that surprised him. Sometimes he couldn't find his true self in that new world. He thought a lot on his own and questioned extraordinary things. But when his younger brother came and asked him to play, Hyunwoo came back to himself. Kihyun's figure is a determinant of Hyunwoo's decision.

Kihyun entered his middle school days when Hyunwoo was a high schooler. At that time, Hyunwoo was so happy that Kihyun grew up healthy. Their parents also gave them so much educational information about their sexuality as Kihyun entered his puberty phase. They were still in the same school facility and were only separated by the junior and senior high school buildings. Therefore, both of them stick together most of the time like a pair of chopsticks. It was a routine for Hyunwoo to take Kihyun to his class. He would hold his younger brother's hand while Kihyun was humming along the way.

But Kihun’s puberty was so confusing for Hyunwoo. Instead of becoming bulky like himself, Kihyun was growing taller yet slender and so fit with everything. His hair became so silky and shiny as Hyunwoo tried to caress it. His hands were still tiny compared to Hyunwoo’s but looked so fit on Hyunwoo’s grasp. His cheeks still chubby and adorable, Hyunwoo couldn’t hold himself to pinch them. His lips became the color of the pink rose. His smile captivated the heart as he grew up. Hyunwoo loved Kihyun’s giggling voice since he was a baby but at that time something was changing as Kihyun’s laughing voice rang in his ear softly and attacked his brain. 

Hyunwoo didn’t recognize those feelings. But still, he was a teenager and Hyunwoo knew it so well how his feelings flitted around since his puberty. His curiosity towards everything was unbearable. That’s why he always wondered about something around him. Hyunwoo tried to compare Kihyun’s condition with his omega classmates. Well, they became prettier each day. So maybe it was omega’s body development. Hyunwoo stopped paying attention to it. Because finally, he realized: Kihyun grew up to resemble his mother while Hyunwoo grew up to resemble his father.

Someday, Hyunwoo kept wondering as Kihyun did something to him. It was a common thing between them since their childhood days. So it was supposed to be nothing. But it felt so different at that time. It happened when Kihyun was struggling with his homework and he asked Hyunwoo to help him. 

“Woo hyung, help me with math,” Kihyun whined as he pulled Hyunwoo’s hands and brought him to his bedroom. Their bedrooms are side to side, same as their childhood days but then the bedroom and the decoration became a more young adult theme. 

Kihyun's study desk was filled with so many school books. There were the family photos, Hyunwoo and Kihyun selca photos, and Kihyun’s friends' photos displayed on the desk. There was also Hyunwoo’s nunu bear sitting on the edge of the desk leaned back to the wall. Hyunwoo was smiling as he saw how clean and neat Kihyun’s bedroom was because he was a messy kid before, and he depended on Hyunwoo about almost everything. 

“Show me.”

“I’m stuck with this trigonometry.” It was basic trigonometry for third-year junior highschoolers like Kihyun and Hyunwoo was done with them back then. But well, even though he hated it, Hyunwoo still remembered them as his bad memories. He is an alpha so he has excellent brain work.

“There are some formulas you can use for this,” Hyunwoo brought another chair to sit behind Kihyun because his body couldn’t fit between the gap of the desk and Kihyun. The next thing he did was searching for those formulas in Kihyun’s textbook and then show them to his younger brother. “Here. These formulas. Think carefully which one you can use for this problem.”

“Okay, I’ll try it. Please watch me if I’m doing it wrong. Because this material will show up in tomorrow's exam.” Hyunwoo nodded. Kihyun was a fast learner, he could catch Hyunwoo’s direction instantly. He just needed some push when he was stuck. As Kihyun was writing in his book, Hyunwoo kept his eyes on Kihyun’s every movement. He just noticed that his younger brother was getting so prettier compared to a few days ago. He started to smell like cinnamon around his neck as Hyunwoo tried to peek at his book. His eyelashes are so curvy and long, they became so enchanting as his eyes kept blinking. His fingers were so slender and made the pencil look cute when he was holding it.

“Hyung? Hyung?” Kihyun shook his body. Hyunwoo went back to real-time suddenly. “Where are you looking at?”

Hyunwoo wasn’t used to it. Kihyun smelled like a freshly baked cinnamon cake with a little bit of apple sirup. It seemed so sweet and delicious as Hyunwoo tried to imagine it. Even though he smelled like baby powder and milk when he was a baby. 

Kihyun stared at him confusedly. His orbs were sparkling and dazzling. His pointy nose was a little bit red. And his rosy lips had a gap between them.

“Nothing. Did you change your perfume? You smell so sweet.”

Kihyun was more confused as he said that. “No.”

Suddenly, Hyunwoo remembered something. Some terrifying moments in his early puberty stages, it was around Kihyun’s age at that time. “Okay.” He forced a smile.

“Look, did I solve it?” Kihyun shifted his book so that it was easier for Hyunwoo to see it. But because the portion of Hyunwoo's body took up too much space, he was forced to lean his body forward. At that time, Kihyun's shoulder touched his chest. At that moment, Hyunwoo realized that Kihyun's body fits perfectly in his body cage. Same as the first time Hyunwoo saw little Kihyun in a closer look and he landed a kiss on the cheek to say goodnight.

“Good. You’re smart.” Hyunwoo said as he rubbed his younger brother’s head. Kihyun was chuckling as he got the compliment. Well, Hyunwoo always complimented him and Kihyun always tried to find a moment when his older brother would compliment him.

“Okay.” Kihyun closed his book and put them on the shelf. “I’ll try to sleep faster because tomorrow is the day!” He shouted cheerfully and then turned his body to facing Hyunwoo. “Thank you, Hyung.”

It was such a shocking moment even though it was supposed to be a common thing between them since their childhood. _He did it to Hyunwoo._ Kihyun leaned closer, his warm breath ran along Hyunwoo’s cheek, and his rosy lips gave him a peck. Hyunwoo froze in the place. His brain couldn’t even think and his hands clenched as he tried to hold back something under his ego. “Good night, hyung.” He said it as he moved to his bed and left Hyunwoo there with a damaged brain and a fighting identity.

Hyunwoo laid on his bed as he tried to remember the sensation on his cheek the moment Kihyun kissed him. There was a huge urgency to touch Kihyun, _yes,_ any kind of touch was needed. It also made Hyunwoo remembered about the girl on his first heat when Hyunwoo presented there. Hyunwoo was scared, so scared if Kihyun experienced those moments. It seemed so painful, and maybe there was someone witnessing him entering his heat, and that someone may have felt the same thing as Hyunwoo’s feeling back then. It couldn’t be happening. Hyunwoo wouldn’t let it happen. As time went by, Hyunwoo was more clingy to Kihyun. He really kept his eyes on this younger brother anytime anywhere and any other kind of any. Hyunwoo put too much of his own scent around his younger brother unconsciously as if Kihyun was his sacred property.

But the moment he was scared of the most never came. Hyunwoo didn’t understand why. Even until Kihyun was a freshman high schooler and Hyunwoo was a college student. His parents also wondered the same thing but they found out that maybe Kihyun was a late bloomer. It also didn’t come until his second year even though his best friend Changkyun experienced it first and Jooheon as beta helped him to get home as soon as possible. But something was wrong, Kihyun kept developing to be a beautiful creature. His profile was the prettiest omega he ever saw since even his friends hadn’t had the same thing. There were so many eyes keeping on him. Hyunwoo knew it so well because he was there witnessing some of them trying to get closer with Kihyun when Hyunwoo came to high school several times to prepare some documents for his college references. 

Hyunwoo was devastated as he knew that he couldn’t keep his eyes on Kihyun forever because they had separated ways as Hyunwoo became a college student. They couldn’t be together like before. They couldn’t spend time together as before. They would have their own life as if they were strangers to each other. And then the worst time came: Maybe Kihyun would forget about him.

“Woo hyung,” Kihyun crawled over to his bed in the middle of the night. Hyunwoo was about to sleep after he finished his paperwork. His body jolted as he felt some weight on his back as Kihyun lying facing his back.

“What’s wrong, Ki? Cannot go to sleep?” He moved over to facing Kihyun. They laid on their side and stared at each other. Hyunwoo realized how cute Kihyun's chin was at close range. He has been adorable since he was a baby.

“Hum,” He nodded weakly. His hair was hanging beautifully on the pillow. “I miss you.”

It was right. Hyunwoo missed him so much too. Their lives have never been this distance before. They always did something together. They went to school together while holding hands. They had fun together. They went to eat somewhere after school and many more. Almost everything.

“Me, too,” Hyunwoo said it as he put aside his younger brother’s bangs. “How are your school days?”

“It’s bad because there is no you,” Kihyun pouted as Hyunwoo’s fingers brushed over his earlobe and played it gently.

“It can’t be helped right? We’re far apart now. But we can meet at home.”

Kihyun wasn’t used to it. He couldn't get used to it. He spent more than 60% of his 24 hours with Hyunwoo before and then it was a sudden shock when they suddenly became so far apart. “I know. But still, I miss hyung.” He stared sadly at his older brother.

Even though Hyunwoo felt the same thing too, Hyunwoo is an older brother and an alpha. So he needed to do something an older brother should do. “You’ll get used to it later.” No, it was his second year of high school life but Kihyun still couldn’t get used to it. “There are Jooheon and Changkyun, right? They will play with you.”

His younger brother’s face became sour so sudden. He sighed in annoyance. “They ignore me most of the time.”

Hyunwoo raised his eyebrows at the confession. His hand was busy caressing Kihyun’s soft cheek. “Why?”

“Please listen, Woo hyung.” His face scrunched. He got up by the elbow and looked into Hyunwoo’s eyes from a higher position. His free hand swinging in the air signaling some annoyed gesture. “They’re dating now and they forget about me.”

Hyunwoo chuckled, Kihyun looked so desperate as he told his older brother about his best friends. “It’s not surprising news to me.”

“What?” You’re so mean.” Kihyun punched his shoulder as Hyunwoo was laughing his ass off. His younger brother took both of Hyunwoo’s pillows for revenge and hugged them tightly so Hyunwoo couldn’t lie his head on the pillow. But it wasn’t a problem for him. His strong arm was presented there so he laid his head on his arm while looking at the annoyed face.

“How about you, Kiki? Do you have someone you like in your school?”

Such a weird question for Hyunwoo at that time but he couldn’t help but ask. Since his middle school days, Hyunwoo had no interest in dating someone even though he was quite interested in some omegas around his school. Maybe one of the reasons why are Hyunwoo busy with his extracurricular activities and of course busy accompanying his younger brother.

Kihyun hugged the pillows so tight and sniffed the scent around them. “No.” His colorful orbs were peeking hesitantly to Hyunwoo. “There is no one like Woo hyung.” He diverted his sight in another direction.

Hyunwoo couldn’t explain how happy he was when Kihyun said that. Was it normal for an older brother to feel that way? Yes, it was normal. A good older brother figure would become a standard for his Kiki to choose a mate so his heart was touched so deeply. Hyunwoo once again ran his finger into the omega’s hair and messed it up intentionally as the realization of his happiness.

“Hyung.”

“Hm?”

“If someday you found your mate or at least you’re dating, you won’t ignore me, right? You won’t forget about me, right?”

Kihyun always demands Hyunwoo's attention since he was a baby. He used to love throwing nunu bear in any direction so Hyunwoo would run and pick it up for him and then bring it back to his grasp. Even when he was in elementary school, Kihyun often acted tired so Hyunwoo would carry him on his back until get home. Kihyun would jump on his body and make Hyunwoo almost fall over. Or sometimes, Kihyun cried and said that his fruity jelly beans ran out so Hyunwoo can get it for him secretly because their mother forbade him to eat snacks before dinner time. Yes, Kihyun always does annoying things like that but Hyunwoo never protested and gave whatever he wanted. Maybe Hyunwoo was wrong for always doing things like that to him so that Kihyun grew as a spoiled child even though it wasn’t the case. Kihyun did those only to Hyunwoo. He didn't even do those in front of their parents or the others.

“Yes, I won’t.” His sight wandered around, looking intensely to his younger brother’s side profile. His fingers ran smoothly from the hair to the ear, to the temple, the freckles, to cheek, and ran down dangerously near to the corner of rosy lips. It was so endearing. It was so, so, what was it again? Hyunwoo forgot his intention as the thin lips formed a wide smile so finally, Hyunwoo’s fingers accidentally touched it—it was so soft and inviting.

“Hyung, can you kiss me? Maybe I can sleep if you do that, same as before.”

“No,” Hyunwoo shook his head. His consciousness floated in the air. His gaze stuck to the slight gap between the lips and he wondered about how warm the thing inside it. The soft breath blew across his fingers that touched the corner of his lips. He adored it so much. “You’re not a kid anymore.”

“Please just one more time. I won’t ask you again. Please hyung.”

Hyunwoo's pride and ego escaped the cage. They were polished to the point of stunning and shining because Kihyun kept begging him to kiss him. In fact that is what usually happened when they were kids. There was nothing strange about it. Yes, there was nothing to think about.

“Okay.” Hyunwoo didn’t hesitate to lean closer to the pinkish face. Kihyun smelled like a cinnamon milk tea. “Stop begging and don’t do it in front of the others.” His plump lips attached to the cheek. It was so soft and it became so bouncy as Hyunwoo gave little pressure on it. Hyunwoo realized there wasn’t anything different from children's cheeks, _it just felt more and more good in its simplest way._

Kihyun nodded, he could feel shiver throughout his body as Hyunwoo’s voice got so deeper as he leaned closer. Kihyun took a peek, Hyunwoo’s eyes glistening with an unfamiliar rushing feeling. His lips were dangerously close to the corner of Kihyun’s lips. Kihyun suddenly could smell the mighty sandalwood scent around him. Their gaze locked each other. It shouldn’t be happening. There was such a great wall that shouldn’t be jumped over.

_But it was too late._ Hyunwoo kissed him on the lips and Kihyun was enjoying it as he closed both of his dazzling eyes. There was a soft smacking sound as their lips joined and it became more intense as their tongue collided. He couldn’t stop licking and sucking the soft thing. The curiosity paid off after his tongue crossed the slight gap between Kihyun’s lips. Moreover, his actions caused a delicious moan from the younger. _It felt so sweet, so good, so incredible, so alluring, so arousing, so addicting._ Hyunwoo’s inner instinct rose up as if he was hunting prey. His hand slowly ran to Kihyun’s side body, down to his waist and hip, and there were more—he tugged at the slender thigh until their pelvis rubbed against each other. He wanted it to be closer, deeper and if it could, felt good. Their action was out of control. The heart was in the first place, the body was in the second and the logic was left behind. Kihyun let himself melt under the touch, his body reacted to its maximum potency and looked for more close contact.

“Hyung, Woo hyung.” Kihyun whispered into the kiss. He was heavily panting. He intertwined his own fingers to Hyunwoo’s slowly. He buried his nose on his brother’s neck exactly after the moment their lips parted and inhaling Hyunwoo’s scent full of his heart content. Kihyun’s body shaking and curling up to Hyunwoo’s. He was searching for the right harbor. Hyunwoo’s left behind logical thinking was rushing to the first place as his nose sniffed the bursting out cinnamon tree scent in the forest.

Hyunwoo was shocked to death as Kihyun kept clinging to him and kneading his shirt in an intimate way. _Those familiar terrifying feelings._ He was doing something bad. He was doing something unforgivable. Hyunwoo had jumped over the great wall. He got up abruptly, screamed in pain and made his parents wake up, and rushed to his bedroom.

“Hyunwoo, what happ—Honey, hurry up!” His father shouted in a panicked state and his mother came as fast as lightning and shocking as they saw Kihyun sniffing around Hyunwoo’s neck and some slicks seeping out and wetting his pants. And it flooded around Hyunwoo’s bed sheet.

Hyunwoo was frozen in place. He didn’t dare to look at his beloved younger brother even though watching Kihyun’s face was his favorite thing to do. His mother tried to separate them but Kihyun wrapped his arm around Hyunwoo’s neck tightly.

“Kihyun, let your brother go.” His mother forced him to lose his grip on Hyunwoo’s shirt. “Sweetheart, please.”

“No, no.” His voice was smooth and hoarse. He weakly shook his head and then pushed his mother. “It smelled like hyung here.”

Hyunwoo was gasping while trying to hold his urge to look at Kihyun. He had difficulty breathing and swallowing. It was a traumatic moment.

Their mother pulled Kihyun with all her might. Due to the unstable body condition, Kihyun could be easily forced to follow the flow. The mother dragged him to another room that was specially prepared for emergency situations when Kihyun's time had come.

“Let your mother take care of him.” The father was so worried as he noticed Hyunwoo experiencing the long-awaited moment. Hyunwoo produced so many aggressive yet defensive pheromones at that time. His father guessed it was the result of a shocking moment. “What’s happening? Why is he here?” Hyunwoo turned his attention to his father. His expression was so shocking with widened eyes to the point it couldn’t be easily read by his father.

“Kiki—he said that he couldn’t sleep so we’re talking—and then,” Hyunwoo gulped as his father’s eyes glistened with curiosity and demanding logical answers. But he was so confused. He couldn’t possibly say that they were talking and ended up kissing and making out, and then Kihyun was out of his mind. “—suddenly he was like that.”

The father's tense expression relaxed. He walked over to his son and patted Hyunwoo's stiff shoulder. “It's okay. I know it was shocking. I was shocked too when I saw it for the first time.” He smiled to calm his son's panic state. After all, he had just gone through confusing adolescence. “That's why I told you to protect those around you, especially omega and Kihyun. Because they're almost losing their mind as their heat comes and there are so many bad people out there who possibly try to take advantage of it.”

“Yes, Dad.”

And Hyunwoo was one of those bad people. And it became worse when his father left him alone in the silent bedroom with a cinnamon scent hanging around Hyunwoo's body.

He covered his face with one hand. Because the other hand felt wet and slick on the bed sheet produced by Kihyun.

Hyunwoo was desperate. He felt so guilty. He tried to erase the incident from his mind but it was so hard. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't ignore something raging under his pants. If only he wasn't wearing baggy pants, maybe the father would have noticed the mound was forming boldly under the pants.

It was painful but felt so fucking good when Hyunwoo's hand, which was wet from slick, touched and massaged the hard thing in his crotch, especially when Kihyun's moaning voice flashed through his mind.

It was the first time he touched himself while imagining his own sibling lying beneath him, looking at him with pleading eyes, panting in calling his name and begging for affection.

He had failed to fulfill his responsibilities.

Hyunwoo lost his pride and confidence as an older brother.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re not comfortable with this kind of theme, I recommend you to back away. This theme is surely shady; omega-verse plus incest and angst. Yes, that complete package.
> 
> There will be explicit content even though I can’t guarantee whether it is good or not because I’m not the expert.
> 
> I haven’t betaed this version. I’m sorry if there are so many grammar mistakes.
> 
> Please read with your own risk.

Hyunwoo didn’t know whether he should feel relieved or not.

After three days of silence yet tense, finally, Kihyun came out of the secret room. He smelled like sweet cinnamon roll cookies but the scent wasn’t as strong as the first time the heat hit as he hung on Hyunwoo’s neck. Kihyun came to him as usual, cute and adorable, with his puffed red cheeks and crescent moon eyes. Reminding Hyunwoo about their childhood days when Kihyun was running to him just to say that he got the perfect score in drawing class. He said that somehow he missed Hyunwoo so much. It felt like after a long sleep where Kihyun met Hyunwoo in a dream field.

Hyunwoo didn't know whether he should feel relieved or not.

When the whole family seemed to ignore the incident that was happening. Kihyun was like someone stricken by amnesia. He didn’t remember any events just before his first heat came. He didn't even remember that he asked Hyunwoo to kiss him so they ended up being in crossed the line physical contact.

In fact, Hyunwoo had eavesdropped on the conversation between his father and his mother. The mother said Kihyun kept looking for Hyunwoo's whereabouts in the secret room. He whined asking his mother to call Hyunwoo. Even when the effects of the suppressive medicine weakened, their mother was forced to help Kihyun to let go of his lust for a monumental effect. When that happened, Kihyun would imagine as if Hyunwoo was the one there touching his body. It was a confusing moment for their parents. Apparently, Kihyun was too dependent on Hyunwoo for anything that he didn't even notice what was going on. In addition to the turbulent hormonal effects, making his mind confused.

At that instant, regret crept under Hyunwoo’s skin. He shouldn’t have done that to his own sibling. He shouldn’t be the one who triggered his own brother’s heat. It was a fatal mistake. Maybe it was the reason why Kihyun tried to find Hyunwoo’s presence as he went through the heat period. But, Hyunwoo couldn’t lie about his feelings; he felt some kind of tingling sensation in his chest as he heard that Kihyun needed him at such a time.

Hyunwoo was supposed to protect Kihyun, as an older brother and an alpha. He tried to gather his logical thinking and decided to make more distance to Kihyun because Hyunwoo finally realized that his feelings for Kihyun gradually became something unbelievable to imagine. His pride was back in the cage and darkened as the times went by. Hyunwoo wasn’t an unstable teenager anymore so he should act like an adult. He could no longer keep up with the fiery turmoil in his body like a teenager going through puberty.

Kihyun is a cute little brother. Hyunwoo knew it so well. There was a moment when he remembered everything about his younger brother’s mischievous act only to have another fried chicken leg. There was no suspicious feeling at the time. He loves Kihyun the way he should be. Yes, namely the love for your precious family.

But he couldn’t hide there was something more than that which he couldn’t understand. Like, how Kihyun was dazzling enough to make his heartbeat go faster than normal, or how Kihyun was enchanting enough to make Hyunwoo dumbfounded like a robot, or how Kihyun’s touch has so many effects on his mind and body. Hyunwoo couldn’t let it go as he wanted. He needed to control himself, especially his frantic feelings and his roaring inner alpha.

“Woo-hyung. Can you help me with math?”

This has happened repeatedly since Kihyun entered the third year of high school. Hyunwoo understood that Kihyun was trying to get his attention ever since Hyunwoo tried to put some distance to their lives. Like, he waited for Hyunwoo to come home even though it was until midnight then restrained Hyunwoo to entering the bedroom saying that he needed help with his exam tomorrow. In fact, Hyunwoo always did it every day:  _ come home before midnight to reduce the interaction between himself and Kihyun. _ He tries to spend more time outside the house by joining various campus activities or hanging out somewhere with his friends, or sometimes just playing all day and staying at Hoseok’s house; one of his best friends in university.

“Why haven’t you slept yet?” Hyunwoo tried to change the topic. He glanced at his watch and it was almost 2 a.m.

“Umm,” Kihyun muttered softly. His two eyes glared in various directions. Hyunwoo understood very well that his younger brother was trying to find an excuse for Hyunwoo to pay attention to him. This has always happened since childhood. The younger brother tilted his head and shrugged as if what he was doing was a natural thing to happen. Even though Hyunwoo knew very well that Kihyun’s presence before him was deliberate. “Because I'm doing homework and I can’t finish it. Tomorrow must be submitted to the teacher. Ah, yes, not tomorrow but today.” Of course, it was “today” because it was already nearing dawn.

“You can ask your friends. You don’t have to wait for me to come home.” When his hand tried to reach the doorknob of his bedroom, Kihyun shifted his body, blocking access to the door. Kihyun didn’t say anything. He just stood there and wiggled his feet for a few minutes ahead. His eyes did not turn to Hyunwoo either. He chewed his lower lip playfully as if what he was doing was nothing strange.

Hyunwoo sighed.

“Okay, what do you want?”

His face looked up excitedly. His eyes sparkled at Hyunwoo. He smiled so wide as if he had just won the lottery. His scent exuded cinnamon yet refreshing like a relaxation to Hyunwoo. “Help me with my work!” He shouted happily.

The moment of silence as Hyunwoo tried to consider the best way to ignore the request. But Kihyun’s lit-up face was everything. Like, one word of “yes” from Hyunwoo would be his happiness. But one word of “no” could be his forever sadness. Hyunwoo was contemplating in a really tight time and he was not given the chance to breathe at all.

“Okay.”

_ Kihyun is the winner and he always is. He always gets what he wants. _

“—But, not now. You have to sleep now because you go to school early today. I promise to help you next time.”

Kihyun was smiling. Whatever the time was, Kihyun successfully got Hyunwoo’s attention once again and he didn’t even care about the time. “Okay! I’ll have quizzes in two days so you have to help me tonight and the day after. Thank you, hyung. I love you.” He grabbed Hyunwoo’s arm and then tiptoed to reach higher to kiss Hyunwoo’s cheek. “Good night!” Hyunwoo lost in the dream of a fairy tale where Hyunwoo was the soldier and Kihyun was the princess. What a terrifying mind.

He has made a promise to Kihyun so he couldn’t run away. He had his own wish in the deep of his heart even though Hyunwoo was trying to kill his own senses. Let’s say he was in the imaginary flower field when Kihyun was running excitedly to him just to make sure he kept his promises to help him study even though Hyunwoo knew it so well that the quizzes themself were bullshit lying objects that Kihyun made.

Once again, Kihyun was imprisoning him with his sweet scent and elegant body language. His word was like a curse. Every time Kihyun called his name, Hyunwoo was unconsciously paying attention to it especially when they were alone. His room and his scent were a dangerous range area, Hyunwoo was regretting his decision. Even the math and the formulas became a very beautiful situation as Kihyun said that he didn’t understand so Hyunwoo had to get closer to him just to show how to solve it.

“Hyung, have you ever kissed someone?” Kihyun was restlessly asking. His eyes kept glancing at Hyunwoo bashful. He played with his own pencil and doodling. “On the lips.”

_ Of course, my first time was you, you asked for it and you forgot about it _ — “Yes.” Hyunwoo took some distance between their bodies.

Kihyun’s eyes widened. He never saw his older brother dating someone. “With who?”

“A secret. Why asking?”

“Nothing special,” He shook his head. He glanced innocently at his older brother. Hyunwoo was so sure that he was honest with his question, like a pure curiosity. He was still a curious teenager after all. “I saw Jooheon kissed Changkyun today.”

Hyunwoo hummed, trying to be an ignorant person but actually, he was curious about why Kihyun was asking the question to him. “Really? Not surprising. They’re dating now right.”

He rubbed his own nape while pouting. “How does it feel?” He shrugged as he glanced reluctantly at Hyunwoo. It could be seen that he was curious but he was embarrassed by his own question. “Changkyun said that he is so happy because of that.”

“Hm, is that so?”

“—and someone tried to kiss me before.”

It was Hyunwoo’s turn to shock. He didn’t know why but he felt his heart so aching at the moment right after Kihyun’s melodic voice said those words. It was his fault for being so distant now because of their separate life. He couldn’t even know about that. He always carefully took care of Kihyun every time someone tried to get closer to him. But now, it was useless. “Who was this someone?”

Kihyun pursed his lips. Hyunwoo could see how his cheeks turned a bit pale pinkish. “Someone in my class.” He surprised Hyunwoo by turning around to face his older brother. He tried to convince—“But I dodged him. Because I was scared.”—that he didn’t do it.

Well, his answer was a turning point for Hyunwoo’s decision. “It feels great if you do it with the right person and also the one you love.”

Kihyun hummed softly as his body shrunk to the chair. “Really? That’s why Changkyun said he’s happy.” He thought for a moment. He placed his pencil on the desk and closed his book. “I’m curious about it actually, but I don’t have someone that I want to kiss and I’m scared too if I’m doing it with a stranger.”

“Your time will come. You just need to wait. You don’t need to rush it.” He said to convince Kihyun that it didn’t have to happen now. Actually, that was his thoughts at first. Kihyun was still a curious teenager. His curiosity could kill his logic as Hyunwoo did. So, Hyunwoo needed to lead him the right way. But,  _ hahaha, _ it was so funny because it was a lie.

Hyunwoo was sure his mind floated around somewhere and he didn’t know how to make it back to his body. Let’s say when Kihyun’s innocent eyes stared right into his eyes, he was so sure that there was a message behind it and Hyunwoo maybe knew that he just imagined it due to his forbidden feelings. He tried,  _ at least, _ to not say that Kihyun was annoying enough to make his feelings become chaotic. He tried,  _ at least, _ to make sure he was gentle enough as he slowly got closer and crashed his own lips to Kihyun’s. He was cursing behind his own mind that he was doing something stupid as a human. But the more he kissed it, the more he lost control. He breathed softly as he gave a bit of distance between their lips. Hyunwoo should’ve known that he couldn’t let it out of control. He should’ve known that he must back away. But Kihyun, the curious little shit, was putting back his lips on Hyunwoo’s and tried to melt Hyunwoo’s strong rejection to become a mere emptiness.

Hyunwoo was nibbling his upper lips with unbearable passion. Kihyun opened his way to make more sensual contact between their lips and built a hot situation. He clearly enjoyed it too much as his hands were running along Hyunwoo’s broad chest and kneaded the shirt. Hyunwoo was sure he was stupid enough only to satisfy his own lust and forget his position as Kihyun’s brother. He placed his hands on Kihyun’s waist as he made the kiss deeper and lustful until their bodies felt so hot. Their scent was lingering around the room making two people drunken to the sensation. Kihyun was back away a bit only to moan his pleasure and it made Hyunwoo’s pride become the number one win the race.  _ He was the prideful alpha who can make the prettiest omega melting under his touch.  _

_ No, he was trash. _

Hyunwoo suddenly pushed away Kihyun’s body; so harshly, so painfully. He took a deep breath and said, “Enough with the simulation. Because you already know, so don’t ask any question related to that again. Take your time and find your loved ones.”

He said it casually like it was a mere coincidence. It was a simulation. It wasn’t the thing he wanted. He just wanted to show his younger brother how it felt so he won’t ask the same question to anyone out there.

He went out of the room, leaving Kihyun confused.

Finally, Hyunwoo realized that his inner feelings were dangerous living things so he needed to kill them right away. No reason needed because they were dangerous enough to be kept. Hyunwoo decided to make a proper distance since that night, no matter what happens, he needed to do it. Since then, Hyunwoo has rarely been at home. Every time Kihyun tried to rob his attention, he immediately refused by saying that he has so many assessments to do. He tried to freeze his feelings even when Kihyun was nearly crying standing in front of him just because Hyunwoo was being so cold to him. He also tried to ignore Kihyun’s calling and whining. He came out of the room later after Kihyun went to school, and he came home silently to make Kihyun unnoticed his arrival. Because of those acts, it was calming down a bit even though Hyunwoo knew it so well that he missed his younger brother so much. But he was also confused about what kind of miss he felt? Was the feeling of longing a proper feeling now?

“What’s wrong?” Hoseok wondered as he paid attention to Hyunwoo who was sighing all the time. “These days you look  _ not good _ .”

He shook his head, “Nothing. I think I need some distraction.”

Hoseok’s eyebrows bent. He confusingly stared at Hyunwoo. They just finished their kendo club activities and talked a bit in the lounge. “For what?”

Hyunwoo didn’t answer. He only smiled at Hoseok. He sipped his canned black coffee. It was already night but the university life was still crowded.

“It’s not about Kihyun? How is he?” Hoseok giggled as he chewed his protein bars. Actually, Hoseok didn’t know about Hyunwoo’s inner feelings about his younger brother even though they are best friends; Hyunwoo wasn’t crazy enough to tell everyone that he felt something different toward his own sibling because what the hell is not normal. But, even though Hyunwoo never told him about his problem, somehow Hoseok always noticed there is something wrong with Hyunwoo, that’s why he never asked about the problem but kept accompanied him. The thing Hoseok knew was Hyunwoo has a younger brother who is so dependent on Hyunwoo and they are very close to each other. Hyunwoo often told him about Kihyun’s mischievous act to get his attention. In their first year of university, Hyunwoo always blabbering about his younger brother to Hoseok until Hoseok felt enough of his story.

“He’s fine. I rarely talk to him lately because we’re busy. He is also busy preparing for his third-year final exam.” Hyunwoo said it hesitantly without looking at his friend. He sipped his coffee nervously. Actually, he didn’t want to talk about Kihyun because it made his longing feelings worsen.

“Too bad. That’s why you rarely talked about him to me. You talk about him almost all of the time before until I’m tired of it.” He laughed so hard. Of course, even though it was tiring, Hoseok still listened to his blabbering. “Actually, I’m curious about your younger brother. Introduce me to him someday, okay.”

Hyunwoo laughed sadly. He didn’t know when he could introduce Kihyun to his friends because his abnormal feelings were still there and he wouldn’t make too much interaction with Kihyun until those feelings died.

“Hoseok.” Hoseok turned his attention and looked genuinely to Hyunwoo waiting for his question. “What do you do to move on?”

Hoseok confused, “Move on? Are you in love with someone? Why do you need to move on?”

“No, of course, I’m not,” He shook his head, trying to convince himself that he was just asking, not really trying to find a way to solve his problem. “You know, someone asked me. Yeah. Something like a consultation.” He clearly looked so nervous as he said that even Hoseok could notice. But Hoseok kept silent and didn’t ask about that. He knew that Hyunwoo sometimes didn’t tell about his problem and actually he rarely has a problem. So maybe, he said honestly about that.

Hoseok thought to himself while pouting. There were so many students walking back and forth, sometimes they distracted his brain process. “Actually time is playing. Time will heal everything. But, the fastest way, maybe, I don’t know exactly too,  _ shhh, _ maybe find new love or dating someone. They said painful memories could be healed by falling in love with someone new. Try to be open.”

Hyunwoo thought about those two possibilities. Time always heals everything, actually, he agreed to it but his condition worsened by the time because he couldn’t run away from his destiny as Kihyun’s brother. That was the time Hyunwoo decided to open his heart to someone. He tried to fall in love with someone else. And it happened.

Actually, Hyunwoo already noticed that there were a few mates interested in him. He could see by how they stare and talk to Hyunwoo or when they consciously try to make skin contact with him. As an alpha, he knew it so well by their overflowing scent when they were around Hyunwoo. But, let’s say Hyunwoo wasn’t paying attention to them before because his mind was wandering around to another significant existence in his life. When Hyunwoo finally tried to open his heart, he noticed these two beautiful omegas named Lee Minhyuk and Chae Hyungwon. They were one of the primadonnas of the entire university. Their beauty is out of the world, even Hyunwoo accepted the fact. And the interesting thing was they have their eyes on Hyunwoo.

Chae Hyungwon was a first-year student. He was part of a newspaper club. He met Hyunwoo when he interviewed the alpha after the kendo competition. Hyunwoo didn’t notice his interest in Hyunwoo before because he was a quiet passive omega. Hyungwon never tried to show off his interest in Hyunwoo even though some of the newspaper club members said that Hyungwon had a crush on him. Even Hoseok could sense that Hyungwon had a thing on him. On the other side, Hyunwoo met Lee Minhyuk in the student council office. Minhyuk was a secretary of the student council. He was a very active and cheerful person. There were so many Hyunwoo’s friends who had a crush on him. Of course one of the reasons was Minhyuk is a flexible person even though he is an omega so everyone seemed comfortable around him. Compared to Hyungwon, Minhyuk was brave enough to show his interest in Hyunwoo. He often came to the kendo club just to say hello to Hyunwoo. He was a sweet person and his existence himself was the opposite of Hyunwoo so sometimes he successfully made Hyunwoo dumbfounded. Finally, after a long time, Hyunwoo really opened his heart to Minhyuk. They were officially dating after Minhyuk confessed to him right after his winning kendo competition. There were so many people who envied the couple.

Actually, Hyunwoo sincerely felt so happy dating Minhyuk. He was an adorable omega and his beauty feature was amazing. He also had a very refreshing sunflower scent. Well, his existence himself was competitive with the sunflower. He could make Hyunwoo’s heartbeat go fast when he was spoiled and clinging to Hyunwoo. His smile was everything and could make Hyunwoo’s problem go away. He is a kind person. Hyunwoo was finally sure that he had recovered due to his feelings for Minhyuk.

It was about one month before Kihyun’s graduation, Hyunwoo brought Minhyuk to his house to introduce him to his parents and also Kihyun. Their parents were so happy meeting Minhyuk because he was a nice person. He could be a good talking partner for both of Hyunwoo’s parents. He diligently helped the mother to prepare the food for their dinner, of course, Kihyun helped them too.

“Hyunwoo, I never thought that you’ll find this kind of lover. He is beyond perfect.” Hyunwoo laughed shyly as the mother said that. He couldn’t help but smile all the time his mother praised Minhyuk. He peeked at his lover and Minhyuk looked so happy too.

“Please don’t say something like that. I’m the one who feels lucky to have Hyunwoo as my lover. I have never met someone like him in my life before. He is so—” Minhyuk couldn’t continue his own words because he smiled too much. He clearly felt over happiness and his happiness would bring another disaster because he would blabber non-stop about so many new things to Hyunwoo later which will actually make Hyunwoo happy too. He loved listening to Minhyuk’s chatty side.

“Of course, there is no one like Woo-hyung.” Kihyun exclaimed harshly as he stabbed his fork to the meat. He glared at Minhyuk and then went away even before finishing his dinner. He was so sensitive since the morning Hyunwoo said that he would bring someone special to their home. But, Kihyun was always like that whenever he stressed, and his stress this time due to his final over third-year high school exams.

At that time, Hyunwoo felt so relieved. He didn’t feel anything strange since his relationship with Minhyuk stepped into a more serious field.

The dinner time was successful. The parents loved Minhyuk so much and invited him to many events in the house next time.

“Are you sure you don’t need me to drive you home?” Hyunwoo asked as his arm slowly sneaked on Minhyuk’s waist. The omega’s body jolted as Hyunwoo pushed his body so they could feel each other closer. Minhyuk punched his chest playfully. Fortunately, they were on the terrace so Hyunwoo’s parents couldn’t see them being so flirty because it was so embarrassing.

“No. It’s not too late. I’ll get home by taxi.” He leaned his head on Hyunwoo’s shoulder. The alpha patted his head gently. He looked back to his lover. “Is Kihyun okay? Does he hate me?”

Hyunwoo smiled bitterly. Well, for now, there was nothing to worry about. Kihyun is always like that when someone tries to get closer with Hyunwoo. But as time went by, Hyunwoo was sure Kihyun would accept Minhyuk as his lover. “I told you right? He depends on me with almost everything. He’s not used to me having someone. He is a kind little brother, surely he will get along with you later. Even he will depend on you too, more than with me.”

“Okay, I’ll wait for those moments,” Minhyuk said as he smiled brightly. He intertwined their fingers while walking to the street to find a taxi. “See you tomorrow, babe.” Minhyuk gave a kiss on Hyunwoo’s lips a little longer before he rode the taxi.

As Minhyuk disappeared in the night’s light, Hyunwoo realized that he never took the initiative to kiss Minhyuk first all this time. Usually, Minhyuk kissed him first and then he would kiss him back. Afterward, Hyunwoo led the kiss to be more sensual and they would make out for a while during their class break. Sometimes, he would be devastated as his fingers touched Minhyuk but he imagined another person. Hyunwoo was a hopeless person.

“Why don’t you tell me that you’re dating someone?” Kihyun came to his room suddenly before Hyunwoo could close the door. He already made sure that Kihyun was still in his room before he came into the bedroom but he came like a flash, Hyunwoo didn’t notice it.

Kihyun was there looking at him like a lion. Hyunwoo could see how the anger overflowed in Kihyun’s eyes as he stared deep into them. He gulped nervously but why did he feel so nervous? Even though he is the older brother and also he is an alpha. There was no one who could make him nervous like that except his sibling. Because Kihyun was there standing so pretty as always. He has never been so close like this since he kissed him last time. The longing feelings were real. He couldn’t lie about it. Hyunwoo was afraid of himself when he felt like this even though he was sure that he loved Minhyuk.

“I told you today. Even I brought him here so you could see him yourself.” He said those words as calmly as he could. He won’t possibly say that he intentionally brought Minhyuk to show Kihyun that he was dating someone. He couldn’t possibly say that Kihyun needed to know that he couldn’t be so close to him again in the university because his older brother has a lover. Yes, of course, Kihyun would enroll in the same university as Hyunwoo. He was so stubborn as heck that he said no matter what happened he would be at the same university as Hyunwoo.

“How long?” Kihyun downed his head.

“Months.”

“Is he the reason why Woo-hyung ignored me all this time?” He was about to cry. His words were shaky.

“I’m not ignoring you.”  _ You're a liar. _

“Does he make you happy?”

Hyunwoo was sure about the answer but it was hard to say it. He paused for about a few seconds only to make himself sound affirmative. “Yes.”

Kihyun clenched his fist. He threw a tantrum, “You promised me. You promised you won’t forget or ignore me even when you’re dating someone. You promised me!” It was so worrisome because their parents could hear his voice. But he also remembered that those promises were made right before their first kiss and Kihyun’s first heat strike. Why did he remember about the promise?

Hyunwoo couldn’t say anything. Kihyun’s tears were the most terrifying thing in this world. He tried so hard all this time to ignore all of Kihyun’s sadness just to make sure everything was supposed to happen. Since childhood, Hyunwoo would run as fast as lighting to comfort him. But now, he couldn’t even do something. He froze like a broken robot.

“You’re not Woo-hyung. Woo-hyung never lies to me. He will pay attention to me. I don’t know you!” His overflowing tears brought a nightmare and Hyunwoo was so shocked to the point he could only think about how to make Kihyun understand. Hyunwoo just wanted to make everything go the way it should be. No matter what happens, even though it would make Kihyun hate him forever. Maybe this was the right thing to do, make Kihyun hate him forever.

_ Kihyun was gone to the other side of Hyunwoo’s world which he couldn’t reach out to. _

Kihyun’s university days finally came. Of course, he would take a different major from Hyunwoo but of course, it couldn’t change the fact that Kihyun was famous enough to be known as Hyunwoo’s younger brother because Hyunwoo was a famous student in the entire university and Minhyuk’s existence also an extra compliment. His first month was quite chaotic because there were so many people paying attention to Kihyun. As the older one, Hyunwoo needed to be careful of someone who might be interested in Kihyun. No, it didn’t mean that Hyunwoo would meddle between them— _ of course, it’s not, he wasn’t lying _ —he just needed to make sure that Kihyun made a good relationship with a good person  _ at least _ in his eyes. But, Hyunwoo didn’t know how to interpret his feelings because Kihyun didn’t seem to be interested in someone from the bunch.

Let’s say that since the night Kihyun went angry with him, he didn’t get along with Kihyun. His younger brother was the one who ignored him now like Hyunwoo never existed. Actually, Hyunwoo felt relieved that he didn’t have to worry about his feelings anymore but actually, it was also so painful when he felt the feelings of ignorance from Kihyun. So, were these feelings Kihyun experienced all this time? Of course, he would go mad, because it was so damn hurt.

“Babe, are you okay?” Minhyuk shook his arm as he noticed Hyunwoo being out of the world. They were sitting on the university garden’s bench. They often did small interactions during the class break since they’re dating. That day, Minhyuk was busy telling him about some student council members who skipped some activities so Minhyuk needed to help the student council president to prepare some reports. But, actually, Hyunwoo didn’t listen at all. “You’re being so out of mind lately. What’s wrong? Do you have a problem?”

Hyunwoo turned his attention to Minhyuk. His lover is a considerate person. He always noticed every single thing that Hyunwoo couldn’t notice. He should’ve been grateful to have a lover like Minhyuk. He should’ve cherished Minhyuk no matter the situation. He should’ve been grateful that Minhyuk might be the one who can help him from adversity. 

“Nothing. I’m a bit sleepy.” He smiled while patting Minhyuk’s head.

“Really? Is it about Kihyun? You don’t seem to have a good term with Kihyun lately. I’m so surprised that he became so cold to you. He doesn’t look like the one you’ve been telling me about.”

Hyunwoo sighed but he immediately smiled. His hand moved to Minhyuk’s hands in his lap. “It seems like he’s mad at me.”

“Why? Is it because of me?” His smile was fading away. He never thought that Minhyuk would say something like that. “I know that he hates me. It’s like you know, his eyes stare at me like trying to punch me,” Minhyuk said as he playfully punched Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo was laughing. That’s why he loved Minhyuk so much because he could handle situations well compared to Hyunwoo with his cheerful side. He never thought bad about other people and always tried to cheer around him.

The corner of his eyes found something surprising in the distance. Along with the loss of laughter, Hyunwoo missed that happy face so much. Those expressions of happiness always showed up whenever Hyunwoo was with him.  _ Before. _ But that happy face wasn’t for him but for another man  _ now _ . Minhyuk looked in the direction where Hyunwoo was staring sadly.

“Eh? Is that Kihyun? He’s with Hoseok?” Minhyuk paid attention. There was Kihyun walking together with Hoseok to the library. “Hm, they look good together. I never expected it before.”

His breath was hunting. He lost the instant happiness even though Minhyuk was pretty good to make his heart feel at ease. 

“Hyunwoo?”

He didn’t think that this could be complicated. One day, his best friend, after a few months of knowing Kihyun, said that he might have feelings for Kihyun since they first met and he asked permission to approach Kihyun with the consent of dating him. Finally, after being so tired of listening to Hyunwoo, Kihyun was introduced to Hoseok on his first day in the university. Actually, at that time, Hyunwoo noticed that Hoseok had fallen for Kihyun at first sight. Hyunwoo laughed at himself miserably, like he should’ve known that Kihyun would attract everyone around him with his beautiful figure. But he never expected that someone special like his best friend would be the one.

Hyunwoo was devastated. He should’ve been happy because he knew so well everything about his best friend. He trusts Hoseok so much. Hoseok is a gentle alpha and he is from an elite family. So, he might be the best candidate for Kihyun’s mate. Kihyun looked so happy being around him. Hyunwoo’s presence was successfully replaced with Hoseok. His younger brother was so close with Hoseok. Even though for now, they haven’t dated yet. But who knows? Maybe they’re dating right after Hyunwoo was suffering alone.

But, as the older brother, Hyunwoo knew that it was the best option for Kihyun’s life. So he tried to cheer on them.

“Babe, you’re ignoring me again,” Minhyuk pouted as he pinched Hyunwoo’s cheek. Hyunwoo was giggling as he leaned over to kiss Minhyuk’s cheek. That was his first time to take the initiative and Minhyuk was about to faint.

_ Hyunwoo had lost his identity due to the numbness. _

After that, Hyunwoo waited for Kihyun’s last class of the day because they had to go home together only for something unexpected. The day was their mother’s birthday so they intended to buy some presents for their mother and would give her the present in the night after special family dinner time. Actually, it was a routine before Hyunwoo took a distance to Kihyun. Since Kihyun’s first heat happened, Hyunwoo bought the present alone only to prevent spending time with Kihyun. But this year their mother asked for a present from both of them so Hyunwoo couldn’t help it.

Hyunwoo already expected that the same coldness would come from Kihyun when he stood up waiting for him in front of his class. Some of his classmates said hello to Hyunwoo but Kihyun was silent after he peeked at him for a bit and then they went together to the middle of the town looking for a good present.

It was an easy task to find a present because their mother is a simple person; the important thing is the present itself was coming from her beloved sons. They brought a new winter sweater for their mother and the present was wrapped with cute wrapping paper and ribbon. Kihyun was the one who chose the present and Hyunwoo was there just being silent and agreed to everything his younger brother chose. Kihyun couldn’t take his eyes off from the present box. It had been a long time since Hyunwoo gave him a birthday present. He kept all of the things from Hyunwoo—even the nunu bear—and made them as a valuable treasure but it seemed that all the things were meaningless now. He bit his bottom lip so hard.

They went home walking together with the silence and dim street light. Hyunwoo was silently paying attention to every step of his younger brother from behind, keeping his guard to make sure that Kihyun walked carefully until they got home. It was also the usual thing he would do before. Kihyun was clumsy when he was a kid. He often tripped his own legs or sometimes he stumbled on a rock and then fell down. After that, he would cry so loud and make Hyunwoo panic. Those were beautiful memories and Hyunwoo needed to accept the reality that it couldn’t happen again someday. He smiled bitterly to himself.

There was no one there but them. Kihyun suddenly stopped his footsteps. He crouched down and hid his face behind his arms and knees. The present box was lying there on the street unnoticed. The night breeze was so cold and brought sadness. Hyunwoo panicked and ran toward him so fast.

“What’s wrong, Ki?” He crouched down in front of him, trying to peek at Kihyun’s face but his younger brother hid his face even more and shifted his body to not facing Hyunwoo.

“Why Woo-hyung hates me now?” Hyunwoo could hear the soft voice. It was overlapping with the gentle breeze. His voice was an invisible sharp object which makes Hyunwoo’s heart broke into pieces. “Nevermind.” Kihyun got up suddenly while sniffing. Hyunwoo could see how hard he was trying to not burst into tears. He swept his own teardrops and then walking fast left Hyunwoo alone.

Hyunwoo was there seeing his own sibling slowly step into the darkness of the street and he couldn’t help but breathless.

Their family special dinner time was bad. It was no special at all. Both of them were being silent all the way, making their parents confused. Usually, it was a cheerful night with a homemade lemon cake and a luxury dinner time from their mother’s cooking.

“What’s wrong with you, sons? Today’s your mother’s birthday. Why is it so gloomy?” The father said as he gulped his coffee. It had been a while since their last family dinner because the father was busy lately with so many patients in the hospital.

“It’s okay,” The mother patted his husband’s arm. She smiled at both of her sons. “They’re adults now. There are so many things they think about. Let their own pace play.”

“Well, it’s true. I know those feelings.” He chuckled. “Oh, Hyunwoo. Why don’t you bring Minhyuk here? Your mother will be so happy if he’s here especially when her sons are so gloomy now.”

Hyunwoo smiled a little. Actually bringing Minhyuk into the conversation would make the situation more awkward now but there was no wrong with his Dad’s question. “He has many things to do in the student council today. He said sorry for not coming but he’ll personally call you, Mom.”

She smiled so happily and content, “Oh, he’s so sweet. I miss him so much. I can’t wait for him to marry Hyunwoo.”

Kihyun abruptly stood up making a scraping sound of the chair. He walked out without caring about everything in the dining room.

“Sweetheart? You didn’t eat your food at all.” His mother called but he kept walking to his bedroom upstairs. “What’s wrong with him? Has something happened, Hyunwoo? It’s not usual for you two being so silent.”

“It’s okay. We have some arguments about the gift, Mom. He’s mad at me. Don’t worry.” Hyunwoo couldn’t help but telling lies.

“Oh my goodness. He’s being so sensitive lately.” The mother chuckled. “He cried so hard when your bear plushie, ah yes nunu bear, I lost it somewhere. Even though I just forgot that I washed it.”

“He loves the plushie so much since he was a kid, right.”

“He loves Hyunwoo too much.”

Hyunwoo forced himself to laugh along about the conversation. He was so happy when he heard that kind of topic before but it felt different now.

It had been a long time since Hyunwoo talked to his parents. There were so many things to talk about, of course, especially about his future. Hyunwoo was in his last year of university and he had to decide about his future as soon as possible. Their parents also reminded him to be a responsible, loving, and protecting man. Their last stages of life would come later, Hyunwoo would separate with Kihyun forever as he got married or even when Kihyun found his mate. Their parents also talked about Kihyun and asked Hyunwoo if there was some good alpha who might be interested in Kihyun. There was no way Hyunwoo wouldn’t tell them. Of course, he would tell them that Hoseok was the man. Hyunwoo could see how happy they were when he told them about that.

It was nearly midnight. Their parents were sleeping and Hyunwoo was back in his bedroom. When he reached the doorknob, he paused for a moment and looked at the room next door which was Kihyun’s. His mind was wandering around Kihyun’s words when they came home together. Maybe Kihyun was sleeping. He slowly opened Kihyun’s bedroom door trying to not wake him up. He just wanted to see him for a moment. But Hyunwoo was surprised as he saw Kihyun was sitting on the bed while sniffing so hard and wiping his own tears.

“Kiki? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

Kihyun jolted as he heard Hyunwoo’s voice. He suddenly looked at the entrance when Hyunwoo slowly came in and closed the door. He wiped his tears in a hurry.

“Nothing. Please leave me alone.”

It was so hard to be ignorant of someone who was special to you. But Hyunwoo hadn’t another option so he slowly stepped out of the room because he knew that he was the reason why Kihyun was crying.

“Why?” Kihyun’s voice was shaky. He almost burst into tears once again as Hyunwoo stepped out. Hyunwoo was frozen in place and didn’t dare to look back. “What have I done so Woo-hyung hates me so much? Even, you didn’t try to convince me. You’re slowly being so far away. You’re out of my reach. You don’t care about me anymore. What have I done? What is my fault?”

Hyunwoo gasped for breath. He was breathless from the beginning of this misery. He was so tired. Kihyun was never at fault. Kihyun did nothing bad. Kihyun was innocent. It was all his fault. Why does he have to feel something forbidden to his own sibling? Why can’t he choose his loved ones? Why does he have to be so in love with his younger brother? He was about to go crazy. His body was nearly broken. His heart was dead. His spirit was gone. Those feelings were bringing a miserable life.  _ Why does he have to live a life like this? _

He turned around only to see how painful Kihyun’s crying face was.

“Woo-hyung hates me. He hates me so much. He throws me away. Because I’m a bad little brother. He doesn’t love me anymore.”

_ Damn it! Why is being in love with someone feel so painful like this?  _ Hyunwoo couldn’t take it anymore.

Hyunwoo walked over fast only to push the body until he laid on Kihyun. He pinned both of the hands to the bed and not giving slightly a chance to Kihyun to react. He pressed his body against Kihyun and robbed the soft rosy lips forcefully. He couldn’t even think about the consequences as he forcefully gave pressure on Kihyun’s lips and kissed them endlessly like it was gonna be the last time he could do it. Kihyun was gasping for a breath but he didn’t fight his position. He just lay there as Hyunwoo made their lips crash until wet and swollen. Kihyun could feel how his cheeks were dried down as Hyunwoo licked them. He was breathless as Hyunwoo kissed him again and the tongue sucked into the gap of his mouth. Kihyun couldn’t help but moan softly as Hyunwoo licked his upper lips and then sucked his tongue.

Kihyun already knew how it feels kissing someone. Yes, exactly like his brother said, it felt good if you do it with someone right and someone you love. And, he loved the feeling of being kissed by Hyunwoo for the first time. It felt like he was wanted so badly. He loved it when he felt his brother’s plump lips took over his insanity. Making his body feel hot and then melting. The fluttering feeling in his stomach was unbearable as if there were so many butterflies inside spreading around. Hyunwoo was too dominant and greedy about kissing him, Kihyun could feel it as he gradually kissed him deeper and passionately made the wet kissing sounds feel so real.

Hyunwoo was the king of the world when he felt Kihyun kissed him back. He knew he was being so demanding and Kihyun replied with difficulty. He slowly released his grip on both of Kihyun’s wrists and he was so prideful when Kihyun reacted by looping arms around his neck. Their bodies demanded more friction. They moaned, grunted, and panted as the kiss grew wilder and sinful.

_ Both of them were drowning by the desired feeling to each other. _

Hyunwoo was hot enough to make Kihyun’s body shiver as his kiss downed his jaw and harbored in his neck. He bit the neck so hard until it reddened as if he was marking his territory. Hyunwoo didn’t need anything except Kihyun’s whole body and soul. Who said that loving someone you can’t have to feels so painful? Hyunwoo didn’t care anymore. He would claim everything was his. Although the entire world will become his enemy.

_ He’s mine. Mine and only mine. _

The kiss ran down slowly after Hyunwoo claimed everything he could see. The button of the shirt opened one by one and exposed how fair Kihyun’s upper body skin was. He loved the sensation when their different skin tone rubbed against each other. He kissed and licked the plump chest until he found the hard nipple. They made intimate eye contact while Hyunwoo was busy sucking his left nipple and kneading his right chest. Kihyun sighed sensually as he felt how intense Hyunwoo’s gaze at him like his brother was gonna devour him alive. His left fingers tucked between Hyunwoo’s hair strands and grabbing it until it became messier. They burst out so much scent around their bodies.

“Ah—” Kihyun squirmed as Hyunwoo’s left hand ran down his stomach and grabbed his hardness between his legs. Hyunwoo groaned for joy silently while savoring the nipple as his hand could feel how hard Kihyun was. He could make Kihyun that turn on and it made him feel so proud. He never felt this excitement when touching someone but Kihyun could make him feel that. His hand slipped under the pants only to feel the raw hardness. He stroked it gently making Kihyun moan uncontrollably. His moaning made Hyunwoo impatient. He took off the pants so fast that even Kihyun couldn’t feel it and then he took the shaft into his mouth immediately. Kihyun reached the purest pleasure as Hyunwoo placed between his open legs and sucked him deeply. He squeezed the bedsheet so hard as he moaned his highest pleasure while he felt his tummy tighten. He tried to push Hyunwoo’s shoulder to let him out but it was too late. His body arched up as his cock spurt out cum inside Hyunwoo’s mouth.

Kihyun was panting so hard, trying to calm down his high but Hyunwoo didn’t even give him any time to calm down. Hyunwoo kissed his inner thighs and also claimed those thighs as his territory. No one was allowed to do that to Kihyun. Hyunwoo is allowed and only Hyunwoo. The bitten sensation was so sexy, Kihyun was humming deliciously while Hyunwoo buried his nose to the soft tummy inhaling his own scent lingering around the body. As their eyes made another desire contract, Hyunwoo was back to kiss his lips hungrily and he slowly took off his own clothes. He also took off everything on Kihyun’s body so they could feel their fully naked skin against each other while kissing and licking each other lustfully. Kihyun once again slipped his fingers around Hyunwoo’s hair and grabbed his head sensually while purring. His other hand kneaded Hyunwoo’s angry chest muscles. They couldn’t let go of each other even for a bit as if they couldn’t live without kissing each other. Hyunwoo’s hand slowly ran to his younger brother’s side body, met his butt cheek, and squeezed it hard until he found the wet lust hole. Kihyun was so wet down there and it wet the surrounding even the bedsheet. Hyunwoo inserted his digits one by one and Kihyun moaned in enthusiasm into his mouth while arching up against his body so their chest pressed hard.

After satisfy playing with his digits, Hyunwoo lifted Kihyun’s leg only to prepare himself to penetrate him. His raging hardness needed full attention. He couldn’t hold back anymore. Kihyun was so sexy and his moans made him more aroused. He could feel his precum spread over Kihyun’s thighs as their crotch made more friction. It was midnight and there were no other sounds except their groaning voice as Hyunwoo impatiently pushed his cock into the hot hole. Hyunwoo couldn’t stand the sensation, his body was shaky as the hole kept twitching around his cock and Kihyun’s body waves were unbearable to withstand.

“Ah—Woo-hyung, ah—it’s hurt!” It was the first time for Kihyun to be penetrated, raw. He didn’t think it could feel so damn hurt because Hyunwoo’s fingers couldn’t be compared to his cock. His older brother’s big size ripped his tight hole and it was impossible for Kihyun to take it as a whole. Hyunwoo hissed when Kihyun shook his body due to a panic attack. The pain was real for Kihyun but it made the pleasure double for Hyunwoo. Kihyun squeezed his cock too much to the point Hyunwoo’s inner alpha would go berserk. 

“Calm down, Kiki. It’s okay. Take it slowly,” Hyunwoo tried so hard to not immediately fuck him mercilessly. It was so hard to hold back his hunger but his younger brother’s pleasure was an important thing. He kissed gently the blushing cheeks down to his shoulder and chest to soothe the pain until Kihyun couldn’t do but sigh relaxingly. He started to adjust comfortably and Hyunwoo finally knew that his time was coming.

So, it was true that an aroused omega could bring an alpha to go insane and Kihyun gave real proof to Hyunwoo. Finally, he could understand why their parents always reminded him to protect those around him, especially Kihyun. Everyone would be crazy if they were served this kind of tantalizing scenery. Kihyun was so pretty even when he was being fucked. His glistening skin gave another kind of stimulation. His overpower sweet cinnamon scent was comfortable enough to make things happen. Making Hyunwoo lose control and wanting to reach his highest pleasure soon. The wet sound between their slapping skin filled the room. Kihyun’s moan made Hyunwoo growing impatient and unconsciously fucking him so hard. He could feel the hole tighten as Kihyun choked when his cum spurt over Hyunwoo’s tight stomach. Hyunwoo kept his thrust fast to reach his own high and it made Kihyun give up due to his multiple orgasms because Hyunwoo was still inside and abused his hole so deep so hard without stopping. It was unexplainable feelings when finally Kihyun’s wall sucked him deeper and massaged his whole length; Hyunwoo groaned loud beside his ear.

After their sinful act, Kihyun’s body felt like jelly. He couldn’t even move around his arm due to tiredness. Hyunwoo stared into his eyes lovingly. He felt like a winner of the competition as he realized he won Kihyun’s whole self. He kissed him gently, lovely, and nibbled the lips softly as he felt a deep connection between their bodies and soul. He won’t ever let Kihyun go out of his embrace again. No matter what happens.

_ Because Kihyun is everything. _

Morning came without warning. Kihyun woke up naked alone and had a confused feeling. He didn’t realize it since he fell asleep. He remembered a bit hazy that his brother was there cleaning his body while kissing his forehead so many times. He also remembered it well. Hyunwoo said “I love you” before Kihyun went to dreamland. His heartbeat went erratic as he looked at himself in the mirror. There were so many bruises and bite marks on his body. He panicked and almost tripped in the bathroom. He couldn’t express his feelings well. He felt so broken last night every time he remembered about Hyunwoo’s distant behavior but also on the same night, Hyunwoo fucked his brain out until he was helpless. What was happening? Kihyun couldn’t process it well. Until he went out of the room ready to go to have a morning lecture schedule.

Hyunwoo was there waiting for him in front of his own bedroom. Kihyun suddenly panicked. He couldn’t control his racing heart and blushing cheeks. “Mo—morning,” he stuttered. Since Hyunwoo was so distant, Kihyun never said a greeting to him because Hyunwoo never was there every time Kihyun went to school or university.

“Morning.” Kihyun flickered as he heard how deep Hyunwoo’s voice sounded like last night when he let out his pleasure. His eyes wandered around and didn’t dare to look straight into those eyes. “Ki.” But after their gaze met, Kihyun was frozen. He realized how much he loved his older brother. He unconsciously smiled and giggled because the usual Hyunwoo was there. His beloved older brother.  _ The real one. _ Hyunwoo took his hand and slowly intertwined their fingers. Kihyun was looking at him deeply as if saying that he loved the move. Hyunwoo couldn’t hold back to kiss him once again, just slightly like brushing over their lips for a few seconds. Kihyun looped around his arms to Hyunwoo’s waist. It was a nostalgic feeling. He didn’t remember when the last time he hugged his brother.

Kihyun was smiling the time they had breakfast. Hyunwoo was calm and ate his breakfast sitting side to side with Kihyun. Both of their parents frowned as they could feel the differences between their sons’ moods that morning. “What happened? Have my sons made up?”

_ Let’s say happiness crushed worrisome and they forgot about everything sinful they had done as siblings.  _

“Nothing happened,” Kihyun shrugged happily as he put his last bite of breakfast into his mouth. Their parents were smiling; never realizing that something forbidden happened between them. Because they couldn’t witness how their sons’ fingers were intertwining under the table and Hyunwoo gently stroked his thumb on Kihyun’s wrist as they had breakfast.

“What’s happening with the turtleneck? You said you hate turtlenecks.” The mother asked curiously but Kihyun ignored the question yet smiled at his mother. He couldn’t possibly say that there were freshly bite marks on his neck, right? Hyunwoo squeezed his wrist gently to tell the world who owned Kihyun.

It was his dream to walk together home with Hyunwoo like their childhood days and it has happened since that morning. Kihyun looked happier and cheerful than before, even his friends could feel there was something changing in Kihyun. It also happened to Hyunwoo, he looked fresh, never thinking alone again, and was so focused on everything. Since that, Kihyun often came into his classroom and then had lunch together. Usually, Hyunwoo would come to Minhyuk for lunch but now, it was like he forgot everything except Kihyun. Kihyun also often came to his kendo club activities to wait for Hyunwoo to go home together. All the club members felt a bit strange about that because Kihyun never showed up since his first day being a university student.

“Kihyun, you came again.” Hoseok smiled as he walked over to Kihyun who was sitting on a bench. Hyunwoo was busy coordinating with other club members. This year was his last year so he focused more on training the members than practicing.

Kihyun nodded happily. Hoseok sat beside him, looking at him while adoring Kihyun’s beauty through his eyes. His scent was so comforting. “I’m waiting for Woo-hyung. He promised to take me to the new dessert shop near the station.”

“Oh, that new one.” He nodded eagerly. “Some of my classmates said that the dessert is good there. I intended to invite you but if Hyunwoo will bring you there it’s okay.” He smiled so brightly. Actually, Hoseok felt happy these days because Kihyun looked more cheerful since their first meet. He often smiled and made Hoseok’s heart go crazy.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Hoseok-hyung. But Woo-hyung asked me first. We can go together another time.” Hoseok was a bit dumbfounded as he saw Kihyun looking at Hyunwoo lovingly from afar. There was this different intensity when those eyes were looking for his brother. It felt so much different because all this time, Kihyun looked so sad every time there was Hyunwoo and Hoseok was the one who witnessed everything. He paid too much attention to Kihyun. He realized that Kihyun never got along with Hyunwoo since he knew Kihyun, it was so contrasting with Hyunwoo’s childhood story all this time. But now, Hoseok could feel the story was being played in front of his eyes.

“It’s okay, how about—”

“What are you guys talking about?” Hyunwoo suddenly came unrealized. He stared unbelievably too harsh at Hoseok like he was going to punch his face. Hoseok never felt that kind of dark aura around Hyunwoo before.

“Woo-hyung!” Kihyun got up smiling so wide and walked to him. Hyunwoo suddenly changed his mood like a different person as his eyes found Kihyun close. He put his hand on his younger brother’s head and stroked it gently. They stood facing each other dangerously too close like they were in their own world. “I told Hoseok-hyung about the shop that we’re about to visit!”

Maybe Hoseok was imagining something exaggerated but he could see how close they became. But maybe, that’s what Hyunwoo always told him before about how close they are. “Yes, I also want to invite you two for a barbeque at my house this weekend. How is it?”

“Let’s do it,” Kihyun accepted it so fast because he had never had a barbeque party before with his friends. “I’ll come with Woo-hyung.”

“Okay,” Hoseok giggled knowing Kihyun so excited about his invitation. “Hyunwoo, don’t forget to invite Minhyuk, okay.” He stood up slowly, “Enjoy your dessert.”

The name “Minhyuk” immediately made Kihyun’s expression go dark. Hyunwoo was confused about that. He rarely saw Minhyuk lately because his mind was filled with Kihyun and Kihyun. Even when Minhyuk asked him for a date, he immediately rejected it and said that he had so many things to do. Minhyuk was a supporting lover, he never demanded more than Hyunwoo could give. Although Hyunwoo could see a disappointment on Minhyuk’s face every time he turned him down. He never spent time with him too since Kihyun was everywhere in his mind. He sighed heavily. He needed to talk with Minhyuk,  _ but what should he talk about? About him wanting his sibling as his forever love? He must be kidding, right? _

“Let’s go to the shop. I can’t wait for it,” Kihyun picked his bag on the floor and stepped out of the gym building pouting.

But once again, Kihyun’s happiness made Hyunwoo forget everything. He held Hyunwoo’s hand along the way to the shop while humming a song played in the street. He swayed his head happily following the song’s rhythm and sometimes stopped in front of many kinds of shops just to peek inside due to curiosity. He was so cute and adorable when he giggled showing Hyunwoo about those funny face masks. Or when he tried to put those fashionable glasses on Hyunwoo and thought which one was the best for his handsome older brother and bought it. He was so fit with dessert. His smile was so pretty even could beat the sweetness of the vanilla dessert. Hyunwoo couldn’t take his eyes off the beautiful scenery; Kihyun is everything for Hyunwoo.

He wasn’t only cute and adorable but he was also so seductive. Sometimes, Kihyun sneaked into his bedroom silently in the middle of the night and then said that he missed Hyunwoo already though they spent the time together all day. He was standing there so attractive before Hyunwoo who was sitting on the edge of the bed. Hyunwoo pulled his wrist and brought the petite body sitting on his lap. Kihyun cupped his cheeks and then kissed his lips softly; trying to claim everything was his. He closed his eyes, feeling Kihyun’s whole body flush against him. He was doing nothing but let Kihyun do whatever he wanted because Kihyun always let Hyunwoo did whatever he wanted to Kihyun like suddenly kissing him when there was no one around them or sometimes he embraced Kihyun when his younger brother came to his club room or sometimes he came to Kihyun’s bedroom only to pin him to the door and then making love with him. They often did sexual intercourse when there was no one, and Hyunwoo was sane enough to realize that he needed to wear protection whenever they had sex secretly because their first time was chaotic. Feeling Kihyun’s raw hole around his raw cock was wonderful but too much to handle. Let’s say being secretly doing something dirty around the house was another level of excitement. It was already too much.

“Woo-hyung, please touch me.”—was a bad trigger for Hyunwoo. His pleading voice was difficult to handle especially when he said it while snuggling into his brother’s neck. Kihyun was so endearing. His body line was the breaking point for Hyunwoo’s arousal trigger. He rolled the shirt up and slowly took it off so he could worship Kihyun’s fairy skin before his eyes. Hyunwoo loves his plump chest and it felt better when he inhaled breath as Hyunwoo sucked on his chest’s skin. Hyunwoo also loves his soft tummy, he would run his hand on the soft bouncing skin feeling every inch of it under his rough palm. Hyunwoo loved his arched back when Hyunwoo kissed down his shoulder and licked them until wet. Kihyun was over the moon every time Hyunwoo touched his whole body greedily. There was surely no one who could make Hyunwoo go wild like that.

But sometimes, so deep down there, somewhere in the deepest part of his heart he felt so ache. Especially when Kihyun was moaning and pleading beneath him while being fucked so many times. Kihyun would call his name, moaning his special name which was Kihyun’s special feature only for him,  _ Woo-hyung _ . It made the flashback run back and forth. The flashback about their childhood memories whenever Kihyun cried calling his name because his ice cream fell on the ground and Hyunwoo would run to the nearest store only to buy the new ice cream. The flashback about memories when Kihyun’s tiny fingers hold his index finger for the first time. He was so excited back then waiting for his younger brother to be born. The flashback about Kihyun’s first word which was his name. The flashback about his giggling voice when Hyunwoo sniffed his baby powder smell cheeks. The flashback about his pouty lips wanting more gummy bears jelly and called Hyunwoo for more. The flashback about him puking the milk on Hyunwoo’s shirt. The flashback about Kihyun’s winning essay in elementary school telling about his beloved older brother, he told everyone so proudly about his kind older brother in that essay.  _ There are many more. _ As they reached pleasure on their sex, overflowed tears run down his cheeks and fell on Kihyun’s face. He was so hopeless about everything.

“Woo-hyung,” Kihyun reached his face and tried to wipe his tears, “Why are you crying?”

He sobbed louder as he heard the special name being called. There was nothing he loved more than himself and it was Kihyun.  _ But why? _

He drowned his face on Kihyun’s shoulder to hold back his overflowing emotion. He flooded the glowing skin with tears. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Kiki. I don’t have the right to have your forgiveness.”

_ Hyunwoo knew he did everything wrong from the beginning. Kihyun was never wrong. _

Since then, Hyunwoo became more sensitive toward anything. He couldn’t prioritize the right answer. He couldn’t recognize his own wish. His feelings were overlapping to the dangerous degree of wanting the whole Kihyun and letting him go as he should. Hyunwoo made a step into an infinite blank space so he could see nothing but black.

It was the day when they would have a barbeque together in Hoseok’s house. Hyunwoo almost forgot to tell Minhyuk about the event but when he met him, Minhyuk was already invited by Hoseok himself the day after he invited Hyunwoo and Kihyun. Hyunwoo knew that Minhyuk was so sad about him forgetting, but he did nothing about it until finally, the day came. But Minhyuk was a good person, he didn’t complain about anything. He just stood before Hyunwoo laughing happily like he was understanding about something Hyunwoo couldn’t imagine.

There were so many people at the barbeque party. Hoseok invited them to celebrate their last winning kendo competition and also as the senior members of the club to say goodbye because the seniors would vacuum the club activities to focus on finishing the last semester. Hyunwoo came together with Kihyun and now he was busy talking with some friends he knew in the club.

“Where is Minhyuk? You don’t come with him?” Hoseok sipped his cola as he leaned back to the nearest wall. Looking at him with an expectant look.

Actually, Hyunwoo didn’t remember the last time he talked with Minhyuk before he wanted to tell him about the barbeque party. Their relationship suddenly became so dull because Hyunwoo always ran away every time Minhyuk asked him to spend days together. Maybe he felt so scared and sorry. “Maybe, he will come later,” as he said that, Minhyuk just arrived together with his student council friends. He smiled so sweet for a while from afar like there was nothing wrong about it and walked over to them.

“Hello, babe.” Minhyuk placed his hands on Hyunwoo’s arms and got ready to hug him. Usually, he would do those acts every time they met and then he would kiss Hyunwoo gently on the lips and leaned his head on the broad shoulder. Yes, he did those things but Hyunwoo didn’t do his usual thing like rubbing his hair as the embrace grew tighter although he let Minhyuk kiss his claimed lips.  _ He just can't do it. _

Hyunwoo smiled awkwardly like his soul was flying to another space.

“Good time. I need to talk to you guys.” Hoseok whispered. Hyunwoo stood blank as Minhyuk snuggled to his body while paying attention to Hoseok. “I think about confessing to Kihyun tonight. Please help me set the situation.” Hoseok couldn’t hide his growing smile.

Hyunwoo’s eyebrows bent little by little as he processed Hoseok’s words. He didn’t know how to react. The moment was coming and Hyunwoo was scared. But what was the thing that made him so scared? About Hoseok, his best friend, being Kihyun’s lover? Or about himself who might be wanting to let Kihyun be his best friend’s lover so the things will run as they should be? There was Minhyuk, the one he should’ve loved in an intimate way, not Kihyun.

“Of course! What should we do?” Minhyuk replied with excitement. 

“I’m gonna confess in the backyard,” His thumb pointed to the back, “And you guys please don’t let anyone go there. Okay?”

_ What should Hyunwoo respond to? What was it again? Okay? Or not okay? Which one? Please tell him which one! _

“Woo-hyung!” Kihyun shouted loud enough to make everyone’s attention go to him. His eyes were burning with jealousy as he witnessed Minhyuk naturally hugged his brother. He slowly bit his own lips to hold back his own anger. Hyunwoo stood still staring into those burning eyes. He understood those feelings but why couldn’t he do something? He wanted to scream his lungs to tell the world that he was Kihyun’s but he couldn’t do it.

“Kihyun, what’s wrong?” Hoseok asked softly while Minhyuk was so confused about Kihyun’s behavior. Hoseok walked over to him but Kihyun was staring to the ground while gritting his teeth. “Are you not feeling good? Let’s follow me to the backyard. It is quiet there.” He gently pushed Kihyun’s back to follow his step and Kihyun followed without looking back to his brother.

“I hope it’s going well.” Minhyuk sighed in relief though he felt a bit weird about Kihyun’s sudden behavior. But it was normal for Minhyuk because Kihyun always looked at him with so much hatred since their first meeting. He looked at his lover’s face who started to worry and his chest was up and down so fast like he had difficulty in breathing. “Hyunwoo?”

The more he thought about it the more he felt jealous. The more he kept quiet the more he felt anger. Hyunwoo was running fast leaving dumbfounded Minhyuk. He broke the rules by interrupting what should happen. He didn’t need anything except Kihyun. His insanity took over as he witnessed Kihyun’s tears wiped by the gentle hand of his best friend.

“Don’t dare to touch him!”— _ He’s mine.  _

Hyunwoo screamed his whole voice to tell everyone that he owned those pretty things in Kihyun even his sadness. Kihyun was surprised as his eyes glistened with tears but there was so much happiness in it as Hyunwoo took his hand and brought his body to his grasp.

“What’s wrong, Hyunwoo? Why are you so scary?” Actually, Hoseok was so surprised about Hyunwoo’s sudden yelling. His best friend was known as the most patient person, he never once raised his voice to anyone. His face scrunched confusingly.

“We’re going home now.” 

“Huh?”

He held Kihyun’s wrist and pulled his body to follow his step. He walked too fast even though he didn’t remember that he pulled Kihyun so hard to follow him. He walked past everyone there including Minhyuk who called him so many times. He just walked and walked like he wanted to run away from everything in this world and only take Kihyun for himself. He was so frustrated. The frustrating feeling that he couldn’t do anything about due to his position as Kihyun’s brother.

“Woo-hyung, it’s hurt,” Kihyun whined as he felt Hyunwoo’s grip growing tighten and stronger in every step. As he turned away, he could see his younger brother’s pretty eyes looking at him, accompanied with sadness. Hyunwoo knew what those eyes wanted to tell:  _ it was so frustrating that they couldn't even tell anyone that they owned each other more than everyone thought. _

_ Because they are siblings. And siblings didn’t love each other in that way. _

Hyunwoo took the jaw and impatiently claimed his lips. Kissing it hungrily until Kihyun gasped and he tiptoed because of Hyunwoo’s strength while claiming his ownership was beyond control. His kiss felt so different that time, like wanting to tell that he was the one who could do it and he was so possessive with his belongings.

Their overwhelmed feeling was venting by kissing each other when they got home. Their venting emotion this time was so different from the others. They just simply kissed each other but with another kind of tension; affectionately and possessively without any lust running around. Those kisses were the proof, the manifestation of their belongings. Just sucking each other while being in intimate eye contact. Just hugging each other while synchronizing their breath rhythm. They should’ve known what was wrong but they didn’t say it. Although their mind told themself _ “Are we doing it wrong? Is our existence wrong from the beginning? Is it wrong to love each other?” _

_ Happiness never lasts forever. _

There simply has been silence between them since then. They didn’t talk to each other much. They didn’t spend their time together that much again. They never kissed each other again. They never hugged each other again. Kihyun often got sick and he was absent from the lecture. Hyunwoo did nothing about it. They just knew that they needed the time for themself to heal. So they let each other alone.

_ Maybe, they would continue to do this. The one that should happen. _

“There is this feeling on you, Hyunwoo.” Minhyuk was sitting together with him in the nearest cafe in the university. He came to Hyunwoo after the afternoon class, inviting him to have some delicious sweets and coffee, while talking about life. “I can’t ignore that anymore now. Because it is so painful.”

Minhyuk was so dazzling, he could beat the brightest spotlight in every situation but he said that he gave up about everything because he couldn’t endure the pain. Hyunwoo already knew from the start when Minhyuk smiled in relief while waving at him. There was no lie on his smile and he didn’t force it either. There was something he let go of that made him feel so free.

“I’ve known about it for a long time since we’re dating.” His eyes focused on the wandering butterfly on the flower in the garden cafe. “—that I won’t ever have you as a whole.” He smiled bitterly, “You always think about another person though I was the one who sat beside you. You always think about another person though I was the one who you kissed. You smiled the brightest when you talked about this person though I was the one who listened to that story. However, I still feel grateful because there is no one like you. Being with you is the best part of my life.” Tears ran down his cheeks slowly. The sunflower Minhyuk faded, his petals falling down to the ground scattered around. His flower stalks dried up and is ready to grow with new ones.

“Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me. I sincerely love you, Minhyuk. I know you deserve better.”

Hyunwoo never lied about his feelings to Minhyuk. He really loved him. He could imagine how happy he would be if he could marry him and have a big family. He was so lovely and Hyunwoo knew it so well. If only, it just, if only Hyunwoo wasn’t a monster who hurt him so cruelly.

Their relationship ended as the butterfly flew high to the sky.

Hyunwoo lost his focus. He lived as an empty shell. He often daydreamed. He didn’t realize how long it had been past. He rarely saw Kihyun because his younger brother shut himself in the bedroom most of the time. Sometimes he would meet Kihyun when breakfast was ready and the same things happened every morning:  _ Kihyun felt nauseous every time there was food in his sight. He would run so fast to the bathroom and throw up so much.  _ He also smelled stronger than usual. His face became prettier though he said he felt so sick. He often skipped morning class due to sickness. He gradually became skinnier due to sudden loss of weight.

“Sweetheart, are you okay? You’re often vomiting lately,” The mother rubbed his back gently as Kihyun felt another nausea wave coming and he threw up once again.

“I’m okay. I feel a bit sick every time I wake up,” He said weakly. He also felt a heavy headache and racing heartbeat. He barely ate anything. Sometimes he felt so blank and mostly passed out.

Hyunwoo slowly came to the bathroom to make sure Kihyun was okay. Actually, he felt so worried every time he heard Kihyun’s vomiting because it sounded so painful. “Ki, maybe you should rest today.”

“Oh my goodness, you reminded me of my bad complication when I was pregnant with you.”

“Huh?” Kihyun was shocked to the point he froze in place. He gripped hard on the sink, thinking about the possibility that would happen. He tried to remember the last time his heat came and it was about four months ago before he had sex with Hyunwoo first time. Usually, Kihyun would consume his medicine every time he felt his heat come and the mother also reminded him to always bring the medicine everywhere. But he never consumed those again since he didn’t feel it would come.

Hyunwoo was the witness of his mother’s struggle when she was pregnant with Kihyun. She lost so much weight and often got hospitalized. Kihyun was about to cry as soon as their gaze locked to each other.

It was a rainy day when Hyunwoo knew he was a destroyer of life. Kihyun hugged him so tight while holding a two-lined pregnancy test pack. He just stood there hugging his younger brother back. Life is so cruel to them. Or maybe they were the ones who were cruel to live, leaving behind the rules and norms. It was the consequences of life. It was impossible to hide the fact anymore.

“I told you to protect him, not destroying his life!” Their father yelled so loud while slapped his face so hard. Their mother was sitting helplessly on the floor too shocked to even move. She was crying.

Hyunwoo felt numb. There was no feeling on his whole body though his father hit him so many times until his face turned bluish. Their father was the most kind, gentle and understandable father. It was so painful in the deep of his heart as he saw the father go rampage. But it was him the reason why the father became so abusive. It was understandable because Hyunwoo deserved more than an excruciating hit.

“You fucked your own blood and flesh. Did you hear that, Hyunwoo? Your own blood and flesh! You're the worst of human beings. Even animals are better than you.”

The hit was growing painful as all of their childhood memories played back like film sheets. Those were the most beautiful memories. Hyunwoo was sobbing hard as slowly he realized that his sin couldn't be forgiven.

“Dad, please. Don't hit him again!” Kihyun was there trying to protect his older brother within his weakened body. He hugged Hyunwoo’s head to block the father. He was crying and Hyunwoo was the one who made him cry. “It’s not Woo-hyung’s fault. It’s my fault. I am the one who forced him. I am the one who loves him the wrong way.”

Their lovely home turned to the darkest place. There will be no more lovely conversation. There will be no laugh of happiness.

“You’ll be separated from today. Your mother will bring you to your uncle’s house.” The father couldn’t do anything about it. He was unable to hit both of them. It was so frustrating and hurtful to see his sons begging like that.

Kihyun sobbed harder as he heard that. The mother pulled his hand to let go of Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo panicked as his warmth became so far away. “No, no. Please no.”

_ No. No. I can’t live without him. He needs me. Our baby needs me. _

Usually, Kihyun’s scent was calming especially the sweetened cinnamon scent since his pregnancy but the day his scent was so weak and mostly scentless. His crying face was beautiful but painful. His consciousness was gone. He suddenly turned so pale and his petite figure fell down like a slow-motion elegant as the princess. There was so much blood flowing under his legs like a classical crime scene. He laid helplessly like a sleeping beauty.

“Kiki!”

He shouted out the name hysterically because it was the only he could do.

Kihyun was hospitalized and went under so many tests in their hospital. His condition was getting worse each day. He experienced extreme symptoms like their mother’s but worse. The possible thing was Kihyun inherited their mother’s disease history genetically and it became worse because his body was trying to get rid of the fetus due to an autoimmune reaction. His immune system naturally protected his body and assumed the fetus was a foreign object that should be exterminated. Kihyun was nearly experiencing miscarriage due to that biological reaction.

Hyunwoo just stood there behind the glass wall witnessing his younger brother’s suffering. He held a printed USG of their baby. The baby was so tiny and maybe will be so cute when born. He was sure that the baby would inherit Kihyun’s attractive face and Hyunwoo’s built.

“I love him so much. I can’t breathe without him beside me. He is my whole world.” Their parents were there monitoring Hyunwoo. He had been out of mind since Kihyun was hospitalized. Actually, he wasn’t allowed to come to the hospital for the best. But he needed to see Kihyun for a while no matter what. He knew he was doing something wrong again but he couldn’t help but see him. “I just love him. Simply love him. Is it wrong, Dad?”

His father stood by his side, seeing his oldest son go broken. His tears couldn’t be stopped as he saw how weak Kihyun was, sleeping as if he would never wake up once again. He knew well that his mother was struggling so hard to make sure Kihyun was born into this world but Hyunwoo who was the one destroyed her work hard. Hyunwoo was the one who got rid of Kihyun and the baby’s future.

“He is my everything. He just… What should I do, Dad? Please tell me. Please tell me what I should do.” His cry broke the same as his mother. She hugged his son while his Dad was silent. He only could rely on his father about his frustrated and useless self. His father is his respected figure. He always taught Hyunwoo about kindness and how wonderful the world was. Maybe his father could help him not fall deeper into the emptiness.

Hyunwoo’s world only circled around Kihyun and also would end with Kihyun. Hyunwoo didn’t choose to be born like this. Being a useless son who crushed his younger brother’s fate. Who is wrong? Is it Hyunwoo who loves Kihyun so much or is it Kihyun who loves Hyunwoo so much? Or is it their parents who can’t educate and lead them well? It was simply a destiny when the entire world learned how scary humans were.

One day, Kihyun woke up so weakly staring at the ceiling room. He turned his head to the glass window, hoping there was someone he loved the most standing there. But there was no one. His cry broke and sobbed so painfully as he squeezed his own stomach. His mother came in when she saw Kihyun was conscious. 

“Kihyun. Sweetheart.” She held his son’s hand tightly to calm him down. She understood how it felt. Feeling empty inside.

“Bring it back. Please bring it back.” His tears ran down, flooded his cheeks. “Please bring my baby back. It's mine and Woo-hyung’s. Please, Mom.” He was crying like a baby, so innocent but hurtful. Making everyone’s heart sink to the same sadness.

Due to his biological condition, depression, and stress, in the end, the baby couldn’t hold on. Kihyun’s body was fighting so hard but his soul needed Hyunwoo’s support but there was no one to allow him to meet his older brother even though he cried and begged so many times.

Kihyun found himself empty without the warmness of his beloved ones and their baby. His condition was the lowest point of life even though his pregnancy complications had gone. It wasn’t his body but his mind was sick. The sickness spread around affecting the body and built another complication as the distance between him and Hyunwoo grew bigger. He never once met Hyunwoo since then because he couldn’t even hold on. He just needed once, once to meet his beloved one but the world didn’t allow it to happen until finally, his eyelids closed forever.

Hyunwoo was standing still. Everyone was gone. Hoseok and Minhyuk hugged him before they went away. Even there were Hyungwon, Jooheon, and Changkyun. As the crowd disappeared, Hyunwoo fell to the same hole of depression. He didn’t have the right to be there. The breeze took away his breath forever.

The sun is gone and the moon is crumbling down waiting for his time to end. Because the moon’s world circled around the sun and also would end with the sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah. I feel so depressed now. Surely, incest is not my cup of tea but if the story goes like this I feel so depressed.
> 
> I successfully fulfilled this requested fiction so I’m back to my other story now. Thank you for your support. Please comment below your opinion! Bye.

**Author's Note:**

> Hm, Incest is not my cup of tea. So, I was writing this at a rush pace. But well, it’s not a problem for an author. I'm going to write it down to the best of my ability and put some meaningful stuff in it. Since I've published chapter 1, then I’m processing my other story now.
> 
> Yeah, did I succeed writing this? 
> 
> I made showki as a newlywed couple, bodyguard-singer, fighting alpha-slave omega and then this, incest showki. I’m gonna hit my stupid head now. Bye.


End file.
